im pretty sure we cant choose our eating disorders
me and you both know what anorexia implies, and it comes decently naturally to some people while binge/bp comes more naturally to others
i've been on both sides of the stick

i understand you want to end the bp cycle, but maybe you could focus on intuitive eating for a while 🥺
dont eat junk you know ur gonna purge, listen to your stummy before its getting full so it wont trigger a b/p, set regular meal times, start an exercise routine or join a gym/yoga to get your mind off food and to get more in tune with your body's needs

 

It doesn't just happen and it can't be forced

 

that's not how that works.

 

Be traumatized or abused…lol. All jokes aside, you can’t choose. Everyone deals with things differently.

 

That's exactly what triggered it for me.

 

this is just how i cope. it isn't healthy and it doesn't make me feel good but i need it. i don't think there is a "way", it just is, and it creeps up on u and before u know it you are stuck in the trench. b/p r cycles are another disorderd and unhealthy way of dealing with things, but its just not what i do. i also understand the emotional eating because i have experienced that my whole life, but i am pretty deeply in the restriction habit at this point, i can't handle living without it. its really not better than b/p, just a different sort of hell.

 

Don’t be. There’s nothing good about it.

 

I’ve been bulimic for a decade and tried to change my ways many a time. It always just leads to weeks of major b/p cycles. For some, wishing to be anorexic is part and parcel of having an eating disorder other than anorexia. Wanting to just have some for me of self control or other factors, but having anorexia is as painful as having any unhealthy form of eating, and it’s not going to make you feel any better. On top of that, it’s impossible to force. Eating disorders just develop, there’s no way of being able to choose what one you have.

 

It just happens and before you know it you're already in too deep, you don't necessarily pick & choose an ed, some individuals are more susceptible to developing an ed and between those individuals some are more likely to fall into certain habits than others. But it is possible to correct certain habits & replace them with an equally as bad thing.

 

I know others are saying that it can’t be controlled, and that’s very true, because it kinda comes on but I also sit here as someone who kinda forced it in myself and now I’m stuck with it.

If you really want advice, I ask that you consider carefully of the other risks that come with restriction and starving will do to your health. Binging may still happen, and you may still purge.

No one can really stop you if you try, so if you’re really gonna try and take control of one ED to make it more like another, it could be a slow process. Start with restricting your intake, every day. Try not to buy binge foods. But low calorie foods that have volume and try to get whatever nutrients you can. High restriction might be your friend while you work to stop binging/purging. The mental aspects of it come later as the fear of food starts setting in.

 

what would a low-calorie-high-volume food look like?

 

If you’re Bulimic like me, trying to “be anorexic” can lead to worse bingeing/emotional eating and purging. So if you’re trying to get out of the b/p cycle and don’t have access to support or help, starting small by finding out a food you feel okay with keeping down and gradually adding food to that could be a good idea. If you can’t do that without tracking the calories, try setting a realistic goal to get yourself out of the cycle (going straight from b/ping to eating 200 cals a day is a good way to keep yourself in a never ending b/p cycle, trust me on that 😭) whether your safe number is 900 or 1,500, try to eat to that number and NOT go below because it could absolutely cause you to want to binge more.

I would also like to say that, especially on a website geared towards people struggling with EDs, making it seem like Anorexia is something you can “switch to” could be offensive or demeaning to people with that illness. My heart goes out to you though because I understand the struggle with thinking the grass is greener on the other side, but it really isn’t, they’re both terrible.

A long time ago I started restricting mainly to stop b/ping and got way sucked into that, it’s hell. So is Bulimia, so getting help is obviously ideal, and I hope you can some day. I understand it not being an option.

 

yeah, I realize that now, and probably not a good thing to ask. it was just at the moment bc my headspace was in the wrong place. am considering deleting this post.
but i would like to get some clarification on something u said that confuses me a bit. you said eating 200kcal a day help to stop b/p but then you also said you do not recommend eating below 900+(?)

 

Reading replies on here.....I'm not sure if you are aware but you can 'be anorexic' and eat over 1000 cals a day.

For example, if your TDEE is 1800, you can eat 1600 and still 'be anorexic'.

'being anorexic' isn't about eating very very low cals all the time. That never works. The majority of us don't do that. What works long term is the example I gave above.

But since you are an emotional eater, you need to address that first.

 

true but am going off of the impression of an emaciated/low body weight anorexic. what essentially means the rigid criteria. i understand i'd need to address the emotional eating first; where the semi-confusion lies is, that arent majority of anorexics are emotionally broken anyway(?) except they don't run to food for comfort. so where does their comfort lie?

 

I've been in the b/p and the anorexic side. I dropped to a very low BMI because of depression. I really did not care for food or hunger at all, I wasn't even trying. When I recovered from it, I 'rediscovered' food. I love to eat and snack, bake and cook.

A year later and I weighed 8-10kg more, I basically put on almost 10% of my body weight. It triggered me endlessly. People weren't telling me to eat anymore or comment on how skinny I was. Shocking.

But I still loved food so I would restrict, binge, work out, purge. It developed into an 'invisible' food obsession.

I had achieved high restrict a few times along the way, usually alongside an extreme obsession that made me forget about food for a while (I have auADHD).

I have realised that the key to go from binging to high res is:
1. Help your brain to stop thinking about food all the time. Start ignoring thoughts of food and hunger cues as much as you can.
2. To have something else that is more dopaminergenic than food. Something you want more.
3. Accept that you can fail, but don't let it demotivate you. Keep trying.

 

I've been in the b/p and the anorexic side. I dropped to a very low BMI because of depression. I really did not care for food or hunger at all, I wasn't even trying. When I recovered from it, I 'rediscovered' food. I love to eat and snack, bake and cook.

A year later and I weighed 8-10kg more, I basically put on almost 10% of my body weight. It triggered me endlessly. People weren't telling me to eat anymore or comment on how skinny I was. Shocking.

But I still loved food so I would restrict, binge, work out, purge. It developed into an 'invisible' food obsession.

I had achieved high restrict a few times along the way, usually alongside an extreme obsession that made me forget about food for a while (I have auADHD).

I have realised that the key to go from binging to high res is:
1. Help your brain to stop thinking about food all the time. Start ignoring thoughts of food and hunger cues as much as you can.
2. To have something else that is more dopaminergenic than food. Something you want more.
3. Accept that you can fail, but don't let it demotivate you. Keep trying.

ugh this is exactly what is happening to me. idk even what was best in the first place, bc i remain miserable/un-content either way

 

i understand wanting to feel in control and not feeling the need to eat so much and make yourself sick but if it did happen and you slipped into restriction i promise you that you still won't be happy at all

 

yeah i know... and thanks:/ sigh if only there were a way to be both skinny and happy. or anorexic and content if that is even possible

 

I want to chime in as someone with anorexia binge/purge subtype and say that for me the progression from anorexia to ana b/p wasn’t ever seeking comfort or turning to food for comfort. I felt like I was experiencing extreme hunger from restricting for so long and so the binge eating began. Naturally I panicked and threw it up, and so the cycle began.

I understand that still makes me different in many ways from someone with anorexia restrictive subtype, but I just wanted to provide my perspective/experience.