About 3 weeks ago when it became full-blown when restricting really became a way for me to deal with my anxiety and pent up self hatred. I had symptoms of it when I was a minor which dissipated- though I showed some signs of it from time to time and it never became an eating disorder. When I turned 20, I started to get into dieting, lost a bunch of weight, and it definitely became an eating disorder- I was obsessed with food and my bmi was a little low- but not so far as to go into anorexia mode. Being that I've been a little restrictive and had a low BMI for a few years, it was really easy for me to get anorexic again when my anxiety became a problem. I think for me it's really more of a coping mechanism that helps me deal with the everyday- it has little to do with a desire to be thinner except in that the "thinness" makes me feel like less of a burden to others. Clothing doesn't fit me the way it should. I would have to wear kid's clothes to have something that really actually fits me so its not about looking "sexy" or "beautiful" although I do think there is something in a defined collarbone.

I truly think it has to be more of a physical thing than an emotional thing. For me it happened overnight and IMO that has to be a physical thing with a genetic cause. I don't believe I'll ever reach a weight that's dangerously low- my guess is that I will hover around 100 Ibs. with the physical damage being a deterrent to going to the extreme, but let's hope I don't find myself eating my words in a few months.

 

Honestly it annoys me when people blame the media and stuff for ED's.

Yes, the media affects the way people perceive themselves and sometimes sets standards that are unreasonable, but I think to develop an ED there is a predisposition or a mindset that needs to be there. Same with peer pressure.

What triggered mine was pretty much self-hatred and a fixation on my stomach area

 

Uh. My therapist gradually pointed it out to me. [Anorexic type EDNOS, as I was eventually diagnosed with EDNOS].

Caused by a lifetime of abuse, trauma, self hatred, and trying to cope with that.

 

Honestly it annoys me when people blame the media and stuff for ED's.

Yes, the media affects the way people perceive themselves and sometimes sets standards that are unreasonable, but I think to develop an ED there is a predisposition or a mindset that needs to be there. Same with peer pressure.

What triggered mine was pretty much self-hatred and a fixation on my stomach area

I agree so much, I hate the way eating disorders are portrayed sometimes, like a girl sees a skinny model in a magazine and instantly develops anorexia, what the hell. You don't just suddenly get an mental disorder from seeing a skinny person :blink:

Mine has nothing to do with media or society, to be honest. I couldn't even name one person I know that's skinnier than me, and I'm not even that underweight, so it's not like I'm doing it to fit into society or whatever. There are a lot of fat people where I live, so I actually stand out from most people. I'd say my ED is mostly related to control, I've always felt like I had very little control over most aspects of my life so my ED is my way of coping with that. Also just general insecurity about my body and looks, blah blah blah. But mostly it's the control thing.

 

I developed anorexia because I had severe depression, tried to commit suicide and some of my therapists suggested to do some sport as it may help me. I lost my appetite due to depression and realized that I had lost some kilos. While increasing sports and running I focused on my weight more and more. Finally I had lost so much weight that I have been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa.

I thought it was all not real cause I didn't feel sick or anything. Only when I collapsed I saw how sick I actually am. Thats when I started to fight. But apparently I had a couple relapses.

 

I had a friend who was anorexic and she got a lot of attention. I thought it was amazing that she could get skinny. That triggered me a little. I was lonely in high school because my childhood friends had abandoned me, I was a geek, and thought that losing weight would make me feel special. It did at first, but then things got out of hand and no weight was low enough for me.

 

September or October of last year. At that point, I'd started counting calories, was underweight, and was really rigid about what I ate.

EDIT: I forgot to answer the second part of your question. What led me to it? I don't know. I was only bullied. Nothing traumatic happened to me, really. To summarize, I looked weird on the outside, then my parents divorced and on the inside, I was weird, too. During that time, I felt fat and had multiple failed attempts at losing weight. Summer after 10th grade rolls around and hypochondria's like 'fuck you' and now I'm in a depressed-like state, not eating and losing weight on accident. Then I started losing weight on purpose. I'm almost in my second semester of my senior year. As far as what caused me to feel fat? I have no idea. But why anorexia? Also not sure. Maybe I've been depressed this entire time. I damn well know I had serious social anxiety. I don't want to come up with stupid reasons for why I'm sick (e.g. I starve myself out of a desire to have control! That would be projecting how I feel right now onto myself from these past 7 or so years) but if I had to guess, it's probably some way to gain some normality and love and attention. I've gotten ignored and avoided for so many fucking years. I still feel like people are doing that to me. I feel like they don't want to be around me or don't care about me, so I'm lonely. Maybe the hope is that if I lose weight - more and more and more - someone will notice and pay me more attention, care more about me. Jealousy is such a strong emotion. But that doesn't explain why i felt fat or why I didn't do other things to get attention, like maybe dressing nicely. All of the alternatives probably made me anxious. They do now, anyway. Idk though. But me being skinny and trying to lose weight isn't because other people called me fat - I thought fat was disgusting on my own - and it wasn't the tv shows and magazines. I've never been one to indulge in popular media, even when I was younger. So I don't know what happened.

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It started as healthy dieting because my dance coach said something about another girls weight and I thought she was so skinny. So I was like if she's fat, I have to be a cow. Dedicated myself 100% to my diet and exercise. I didn't realize I had an ED until my mom brought me home a frappe from McDonalds (that I used to love) and I looked up the calories. 560 for a medium. I screamed and cried and kept saying "IM SO FAT IM SO FAT IM SO FAT" and did workout DVDs for four hours straight. Kinda figured something wasn't right then.

 

I have realised few months ago that I have ED and what led me to it finally was child birth.. I just felt so fat and still do and now I feel like shit if I dont lose waight weekly. I cant eat without crying afterwards and yeah I know thats sick. I havent been diagnosed but Im sure about it.

 

I honestly did not believe that I had a problem until the first meal was set down in front of me at treatment... I was like oh shit this is normal?!

What led to it... Living like an adult on my own and working at 16, paired with perfectionism. When things started to go wrong, as they were bound to, I figured out that I was "good" at dieting when I wasn't good enough at anything else. Seeing how people reacted to me at a low weight is what has kept me stuck in this

 

I was going to a dietician (which allowed me to lose only 3 kg) to get a meal plan bc i was feeling like i am not eating well at all (i still don't but now my health is too fucked up anyway) and then i started slowly restricting my intake and items from the plan and i went for a check up with my mom and i lost 8 kg and she asked me how much more do i want to lose i said i don't know bc i knew she would freak if i told her and then she told my mom she thinks i have an eating disorder. I have to admit i was really shocked i had doubts but i though i was too fat (don't ask i was foolish about eating disorders). I had problem with food since i was 8 and had these voices and anxiety about weight but it started bc i gained 2 kg on a holiday.

 

About a year before my therapist pointed it out to me, I started eating less and less. Not to lose weight, I just was only hungry for cereal. Gave myself a gluten intolerance for awhile. By the time I started seeing her I was down 25 pounds, but couldn't believe I had an ED, I just thought I was normal.
It was all very biological for me, no emotional trigger I could pinpoint

 

When the calorie count started dropping. I realized something was wrong.