On the subject of carrots, I went out and bought several bagfuls of healthy, low cal foods. Guess how much of that I've eaten.
spoiler...
not very much.
My name is Emily. I'm twenty years old. 5'0, ballooned up to 170 lbs. Technically obese. I have been exercising and lowering my calorie intake the past three days and I've lost 3-4 lbs. I have a big butt and large breasts so I still have an hourglass shape, but my stomach pushes out. My thighs are thicker than my head (I wish I was kidding lmao), and I'm pretty self-conscious.
I'm what you would call a binge eater. I can easily put away an entire day's worth of calories in one meal, and it feels absolutely incredible, every single mouthful, until I'm finished eating and my stomach is in agonizing pain. I do not purge as I hate the feeling of vomiting but I've considered it at this point.
I have struggled a bit with food in the past, mostly purposely starving myself (my lowest weight was a little under 100 lbs, which despite my short height, with my big hip/big bust frame looked pretty frickin tiny), but due to past trauma that sprang up again due to me taking action and pressing charges (relevant in the revolutionary #MeToo era) I have been struggling very much with intense binging.
okay this is getting long so let's jump into quick bullet points:
Anyway, my goal weight is 120 lbs. I really want to help myself. I keep being drawn to this site and I hope something comes out of it. I'm a total chatterbox and I LOVE meeting new people but sometimes I suck at responding cuz I'm also an introvert. Just ur average manic depressive twenty-something with an eating disorder and a shitty childhood. GET AT ME~
spoiler...
not very much.
My name is Emily. I'm twenty years old. 5'0, ballooned up to 170 lbs. Technically obese. I have been exercising and lowering my calorie intake the past three days and I've lost 3-4 lbs. I have a big butt and large breasts so I still have an hourglass shape, but my stomach pushes out. My thighs are thicker than my head (I wish I was kidding lmao), and I'm pretty self-conscious.
I'm what you would call a binge eater. I can easily put away an entire day's worth of calories in one meal, and it feels absolutely incredible, every single mouthful, until I'm finished eating and my stomach is in agonizing pain. I do not purge as I hate the feeling of vomiting but I've considered it at this point.
I have struggled a bit with food in the past, mostly purposely starving myself (my lowest weight was a little under 100 lbs, which despite my short height, with my big hip/big bust frame looked pretty frickin tiny), but due to past trauma that sprang up again due to me taking action and pressing charges (relevant in the revolutionary #MeToo era) I have been struggling very much with intense binging.
okay this is getting long so let's jump into quick bullet points:
- i am depressed af and currently unmedicated, am looking into therapy
- i have several unhealthy coping mechanisms but most notably BINGING like a goddamn wildebeest
- i am a massive feminist and find myself comparing my body to other women and it's not cool
- i smoke every few days and it intensifies the binging but it's the only thing that makes me happy besides binging HALP inception
- being honest with my friends and family either results in disbelief or them thinking i should be shipped away to a hospital so i have no one to talk to
Anyway, my goal weight is 120 lbs. I really want to help myself. I keep being drawn to this site and I hope something comes out of it. I'm a total chatterbox and I LOVE meeting new people but sometimes I suck at responding cuz I'm also an introvert. Just ur average manic depressive twenty-something with an eating disorder and a shitty childhood. GET AT ME~
