I eat one meal a day (dinner only) and today I did:

• 
  
  5 Roll-ups
  
• 
  
  5 Angle Roaches
  
• 
  
  5 Leg Lifts
  
• 
  
  10 arm circles
  
• 
  
  10 arm raises
  
• 
  
  10 Single Chest Press Pulses
  
• 
  
  55 squats
  
• 
  
  5 pointed Butt Lifts
  
• 
  
  5 fire hydrants
  
• 
  
  5 Pile Squats
  
• 
  
  5 Leg Swings ea.
  
• 
  
  5 Side lunges ea.
  

I plan on increasing my workouts over time. Other than that I spend a lot of my time stepping on and off a scale, trying to avoid food, browsing MPA, looking up calorie contents...

and depending on the day and how much I ate I might purge and take laxatives.

 

RN I'm kinda recovered but 90% of my days looked like this:

5AM Wake

Weigh

Log weight, check meal plan for the day

400mg of caffeine

7AM Go to school

12PM sit in library instead of eating lunch

4PM get home

browse MPA

look at food porn

run around kitchen:

-cleaning

-stowing things away

-hiding stuff

-rearrange fridge and pantry

-bake and cook for later binge

-list all of the food we have

5PM Nap the urges away

7PM Wake up [to mother summoning me for dinner] with ox-hunger

TURNING POINT OF MY DAY:

1) dodge dinner. go to sleep at 8PM.

2) eat dinner.

8PM binge. purge. watch Netflix. binge. ruminate. BINGEBINGEBINGE.

11PM start purging for realsies

12AM finally done purging

drink some water

log intake for the day

weigh to make sure I am lighter than I was in the morning

cry

1AM crawl into bed so tired that my soul is already asleep and just waiting for my body to catch up

 

Hm mine kinda varies because of school and whatnot, but in general

7-10am - wake up
Take pills/get dressed/brush teeth/feed cat
If I feel lucky, strip and weigh
Walk or bus to class depending how much time I have and how much I hate myself

9am-3pm ish - classes. Don't stop for lunch
(sometimes I do get a lunch, and then purge it in my break)

3-6pm ish - either riding horses, at therapy, or at home
When I'm at home, I'll be on mpa or general internet stuff OR I'll start binging

6-9pm - either riding horses or at home
At home, I might have finished b/p for the time being
Maybe start homework
If I'm with the bf, we'll have dinner
I'll purge it
He'll mention that I was in the bathroom awhile and ask if I'm ok

9-12 - internetting and sleep
Might finish hw, might not
It's possible I fit in another binge, but not a purge - I'll fall asleep hating everything

 

5:30- wake up, sort my hair out, put mascara on, wash face and take multivitamin + b12 and green tea extract
6:30- leave for school
12:00- lunch, just get a water and don't eat anything for the whole school day
2:40- come home hungry af, eat something and feel super awful about it (or just have coffee on an empty stomach and feel super weak)
3:30- either go on a long walk all the way to the woods to purge or purge in a cup in my room and empty it (if i ate)
5:00- purged, took b12, fish oil and green tea extract, had coffee, tea and water, now doing hw and scrolling through MPA
6:30- i ask mom to make my own thing for dinner, i make vegetable stir fry or just a can of tuna
7:00- take a cold bath to burn off excess calories
7:45- literally feel like a cold corpse, lay in bed and try to bring my cold limbs back to life
9:30- when i'm sent to bed
1:30- i fall asleep

 

I eat one meal a day (dinner only) and today I did:

• 
  5 Roll-ups
• 
  5 Angle Roaches
• 
  5 Leg Lifts
• 
  10 arm circles
• 
  10 arm raises
• 
  10 Single Chest Press Pulses
• 
  55 squats
• 
  5 pointed Butt Lifts
• 
  5 fire hydrants
• 
  5 Pile Squats
• 
  5 Leg Swings ea.
• 
  5 Side lunges ea.

I plan on increasing my workouts over time. Other than that I spend a lot of my time stepping on and off a scale, trying to avoid food, browsing MPA, looking up calorie contents...

and depending on the day and how much I ate I might purge and take laxatives.

woah that sounds exhausting! Is it an impulsive need to complete no matter what your intake? Feel u on the ' research ' I'm a walking talking calorie bible yet still 'check' new things in case things have miraculously changed >_<

 

...

 

woah that sounds exhausting! Is it an impulsive need to complete no matter what your intake? Feel u on the ' research ' I'm a walking talking calorie bible yet still 'check' new things in case things have miraculously changed >_<

It wasn't so bad. It'll be 10000x worse by the end of all the challenges I'm doing. Yeah, I workout no matter what my calorie range is.

 

I have BN not AN if that is relevant

Weekdays

5:45am- alarm goes off, hit snooze repeatedly until 6:30am. Drag myself out of bed, weigh myself, wash face, take meds, drink coffee and get dressed/do makeup. Go upstairs and tidy up, sneak dishes into dishwasher and stuff into the bin whilst everyone is still asleep

7:15ish-drive to work, park car 20mins away and walk

7:50-8amish- get to work, make cup of tea

8-1pm- "work" (procrastinate, waste time on mpa, look up recipes and supermarket specials, drink 900 cups of tea), try and find any excuse for incidental exercise (banking, post office etc)

1pm-take Ritalin or caffeine pills. Drink coke zero and eat salad or cup of soup (no more than 150 cals)

4pm- walk to car, usually detour past supermarket for b/p food. Feel shit for spending too much.

4:30ish- get home, take more Ritalin, take dogs for a walk and then workout (either run, stationary bike or strength for 35-45)

6pm- eat dinner with family

6:30-8:30pm b/p and maybe shower depending on how long b/p is.

8:30-9:30pm- drink tea and watch telly with mum. Pretend I'm normal.

9:30pm-11:00pm- b/p, clean up mess and take laxatives. Chug water.

11pm- collapse into bed and pray I die in my sleep

Weekends

try and distract to prolong b/ping. Do chores, go for coffee with bf, exercise. Usually cave about lunchtime. Make excuse not to see b/p. Have a few b/ps. Nap then dinner and more b/ping.

Jesus Christ. I generally think my life is pretty normal and I don't really have an ED but seeing it listed makes me realize that things are pretty fucked up.

 

7.15 wake, wash, weigh

7.35 take toddler to nursery

8.00 either shopping to b/p or making something like beans on toast to

9.00 catch up on TV that's not child friendly or youtubing eating, purging,

10.00 CHORES

12.00 possibly bp if enough food in

12.30 pick toddler up

1.30 eat if haven't to purge while she sleeps

2.30 MUM

5.40 make family tea, a portion for myself mostly veg.

9.30 maybe binge on cereal

11.30 sleep till I'm woken by the small person

4.40 get up for small

5.10 if unable to sleep or get her to sleep get up for the day.

 

wake up at 8am

weigh in

cigarette and coffee

chores (usually just cleaning up binge aftermath)

eat some safe food (on most days)

lay around, journal, watch tv, smoke weed, etc.

the first b/p starts around 10:30am, finishes at 1ish

shower

second b/p from 2-4pm

then i go about the obligations i have that day, drs appointment or going to take care of my horse or whatever

get home around 6

family has dinner ready at 6:30 most days

third b/p

half-assed cleanup

drink a mug of hot tea, smoke weed

pass out exhausted 10pm

 

535 wake up, pack bfast and lunch binges. Go to work.
730 first binge while drawing at computer.
Purge, continue working til 1230. Microwave lunch, eat while drawing, keep working. 430 go home or grocery store. Work out at home. Cook. Binge purge, sleep.... Rinse and repeat...

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3:15 am - wake up. Hate self deeply for eating in the middle of the night.
6:15 am - get to work
5:30 pm - get home
6:00 pm - start bping
8:00/9:00 pm - purge final time
9:30 pm - go to bed
11:00/12:30/2:00 - wake up. Eat. Rarely purge.
3:15 am - wake up. Hate self for eating in the middle of the night.

 

8:30 - Wake up. wonder how the fuck I'm going to get through another day.

9ish - Coffee and ciggie

9:30 - yoghurt

try and hold off b/p as long as possible, sometimes i can, sometimes i can't

drink a shit tonne of tea, coffee, pepsi max

6:30 - dinner of veges and lettuce salad

b/p until i'm too tired to go on

11:30ish - meds & sleep

some days i have appointments with dr, psych etc but some days i literally don't leave the house except for a quick trip (or 2) to buy binge food

I really need a hobby. or a job. or both.

 

WEEKDAY

6:40 - wake up, pee, strip, weigh, get dressed, get coffee

7:00 - get on the bus

7:20 - get to school, go on the computer

4:30 - get on the bus home

5:00 - walk home

5:15 - depending on the cycle I either start binging immediately, or I chew some gum and get drawing

5:45 - mom's home, no more binging, no more purging

6:30 - either dinner and a purge in the shower, or more distracting and a shower

8:00 - either ice cream and a purge, or more distracting

10:00 - get in the bed and watch netflix

12:00 - fall asleep

Weekends are different. At my dad's it's constant binging and purging until about 2 in the morning, waking up and 10 or 11. At mom's, I'm binging whenever she's not in the house and purging right as soon as she gets home or just before, after 5 routine is the same.

 

Double post.

 

I have BN not AN if that is relevant

Weekdays
5:45am- alarm goes off, hit snooze repeatedly until 6:30am. Drag myself out of bed, weigh myself, wash face, take meds, drink coffee and get dressed/do makeup. Go upstairs and tidy up, sneak dishes into dishwasher and stuff into the bin whilst everyone is still asleep
7:15ish-drive to work, park car 20mins away and walk
7:50-8amish- get to work, make cup of tea
8-1pm- "work" (procrastinate, waste time on mpa, look up recipes and supermarket specials, drink 900 cups of tea), try and find any excuse for incidental exercise (banking, post office etc)
1pm-take Ritalin or caffeine pills. Drink coke zero and eat salad or cup of soup (no more than 150 cals)
4pm- walk to car, usually detour past supermarket for b/p food. Feel shit for spending too much.
4:30ish- get home, take more Ritalin, take dogs for a walk and then workout (either run, stationary bike or strength for 35-45)
6pm- eat dinner with family
6:30-8:30pm b/p and maybe shower depending on how long b/p is.
8:30-9:30pm- drink tea and watch telly with mum. Pretend I'm normal.
9:30pm-11:00pm- b/p, clean up mess and take laxatives. Chug water.
11pm- collapse into bed and pray I die in my sleep

Weekends
try and distract to prolong b/ping. Do chores, go for coffee with bf, exercise. Usually cave about lunchtime. Make excuse not to see b/p. Have a few b/ps. Nap then dinner and more b/ping.

Jesus Christ. I generally think my life is pretty normal and I don't really have an ED but seeing it listed makes me realize that things are pretty fucked up.

Fuckimg same I'm afraid to write out my day and face the reality of my "life"

 

8AM - wake up, morning routine stuff

8:45 - coffee with sweetener, 1 piece of fruit. browse MPA during this time usually.

9:30 - school, where i accomplish nothing and have no social life lel

3PM - back from school. sometimes i revise here but usually i take a shower&nap and kill some time.

5-6PM - i start thinking about what i'm going to binge on and buy the food.

6PM-10AM or later - bingepurgebingepurgebingepurge. smoke.

then i write or do assignments or something quiet until i go to sleep around 2.

free chunks of time are usually spent on MPA or with my bff but a typical day is sleep, school, bulimia. fun times.

 

9am-1pm: Wake up, do makeup, take a caffeine pill

10am-4pm: Go to class/therapy/nutritionist/ED counselor (any combination, usually not class)

Rest of the day: Get back to my dorm, clean up, watch Netflix, either restrict and distract myself or binge/purge multiple times

6/8pm: Take a lax

2am-4am: Go to sleep

Kind of realizing how boring my days are/how little I actually do

 

During the week:

7:15 am- wake up, wash my face, weigh in, do body check. check social media/cry to myself if I gained/didn't lose enough

8-9:00 am, depending when my class starts- have my coffee with 1/4 cup unsweetened vanilla almond breeze

9-4:00 pm- I have classes between this time each day, but it changes each day. If I have 2 classes that day I'll go home during our break and have an apple and maybe another coffee to stop my stomach from crying in class.

4-5:30 pm- go for a walk/run depending on how much energy I have

6:00 pm- dinner, usually a broth based soup or a salad

8-9:00 pm- do some sort of workout (yoga, pilates, strength training, low impact cardio, stuff I can do in my uni hostel room that wont make too much noise)

9-9:30 pm-shower

10:00 pm- make sure I'm organised for the next day, done all my homework etc maybe have another coffee or a diet coke

I usually go to sleep at around 11 pm-12 am

In the weekend I just try and keep myself busy, go for lots of walks, finish assignments and homework and do my exercises, I eat a lot less in the weekends, eating for me is more just to stop my stomach from making fucking noises during class. I usually go out on Saturday night too so that takes up a lot of time, I never eat before I go out so I get drunk easier and don't have to spend so much calories/money on alcohol

But this is a perfect week for me, I fuck up a lot and either c/s or b/p

 

12am-12am: rot

 

I'm trying to recover so I start strong.
8am: wake, stare at mirror (I sleep nakies) but only a glimpse. I can't scrutinize anymore.

8.30-9am: ciggy + long walk to cafe. Write depressing shit in journal but look cool doing it. Head to uni, buy gum for the day.

5.45pm: yoga, then eat a protein ball for muscle sustenance.

7pm: dinner with family, usually salad based.

9pm: binge when everyone's retreated to their rooms & purge, regretting it whilst doing it.

9-12 or 1am: feel shit about the day. Sleep.

 

Wake up 9-10 AM
Smoke and coffee.
11-12:30 AM:
If mom's home, breakfast.
Puke breakfast.
If mom's at work: bp until 3 PM
4 PM take the bus
5 PM class
7-8:15 PM switching buses, wandering around, buy food and often alcohol
8:45 PM at home
9-10 PM evening porridge
Puke porridge.
10-11 PM parents go to bed.
Start bp abd drinking.
Go to bed 4-6:30 AM

Fun

 

4:00-5:00AM: Wake up, use potty, strip down, weigh in.

Put on coffee, watch the news, eat breakfast, take medications

5:30-7:00AM: On the computer, check email, check out MPA

7:00-8:00AM: Lift weights (on alternate days), coffee

8:00-9:30AM: More computer

9:30-12:00PM: Watch the Food Network, take a walk or go running, shower.

12:00PM: Lunch

12:00-5:00PM: More television or computer time, take a walk

5:00PM: Dinner. Try not to b/p. Or cave in and b/p, take laxatives

5:00-8:00PM: Watch the news and more Food Network, computer time

8:00PM: Take meds, go to bed

 

I'm not bulimic anymore but I'm happy to post a visual example of what my life used to look like:

- Wake up at 8:30am for college

- Try to go back to sleep because I don't want my fat ass to be seen

- Then remembers if I'm late I won't be able to go at all so I force myself out of bed

- Weighs myself. I'm fat

- Avoid breakfast even though hunger is killing me

- Walk to college at 9:30am feeling intense binge urges

- Get to class still feeling intense binge urges

- Try to "learn" when all I can think about is how much I wanna binge

- Act fine and go spend lunch with my friend at 1pm which is walking round town staring at food aisles in shops (she didn't know that's what I was doing half the time)

- At 3pm college is finished, pretends to go home, in fact goes round all the shops I looked at earlier and buys a haul of stuff

- At 4pm I make my way over to my favourite giant tree on the marshes that's nice and hidden and eat everything

- Feels like absolute shit so tries to purge, doesn't get enough out

- It's around 5pm and I'm walking a really long detour home...to burn calories

- On the way back I spot McDonalds and see no harm in having another milkshake or mcflurry

- Realises I have just wasted that exercise so runs to the loo and purges

- 6pm and I'm finally home, mum doesn't ask why I was so long because I pretend I stayed behind at college as always

- Weigh myself as soon as I'm in, surely I won't have gained too much..?

- 7:30pm is time to avoid dinner but I end up picking at a bit, even though I'm so ridiculously full

- Watch TV all evening feeling like crying and dying

- 11pm and I'm feeling binge urges so I snack on whatever junk we happen to have in the house

- Can't bring myself to weigh in the late evening

- Goes to sleep around midnight/1am

- Prays I don't wake up

I am definitely afraid that one day I will go back to this. As much as I hate restrictive EDs too, there is just something else about having a b/p ED that makes it so much harder to accept and harder to wake up every day. With restriction, if you fail a day, it's almost like a motivation to wake up and do better the next. With binging/purging, you can't think like that because you know it's not true. It's soul destroying really.

 

Oh boy this is fun.
8-11am: wake up, have a cup of lemon water and a coffee with either almond milk or protein shake mixed in, watch Netflix , take vitamins, etc
12-1pm: get dressed, head to gym, workout for about 90mins
3-5: do any shopping that needs to be done, pick up protein bar for post-workout meal, end up buying binge food
~7/8pm: go home, stuff face, puke, repeat
1am: try and sleep(usually takes about 2 hours)
I think I need to find a new job or something

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