7-6-24 little grocery haul

Didn’t really need the chicken but I forgot to take some out on my lunch oh well I’ll be set for awhile. Salsa for chicken taco salad, almost got cheese for it but fought it, f those calories. The root beer popsicles looked good for 60cal (theyre not, waste of money) the jello and fruit cups I thought would be yummy with yogurt!

Excited to try the built protein bars, I’ve heard good things about them at work also yay tuna packets lol never tried the ranch one, I think it’d good on lettuce instead of my tortillas.

 

7-6-24 total - 650 tdee - 2488

6:50 another day another drink, the only reason I drink these is to keep me from being a monster before lunch (160)

9:15 been craving a monster since I clocked in but pulled thru and waited until my break…I’m happy (10)

12:14 last nights dinner repeat for lunch, (210)
Tuna (90) on zero carb tortillas (50) with buffalo sauce (10) and onion (5)
Pickle (10)
Cottage cheese (45)

9:53pm sad looking taco salad, (270)
Really looks like a lot but it’s mostly lettuce tbh
Lettuce (10) with chicken (150) salsa (5) peppers (5) light sour cream (100) and alottaaa hot sauce

 

7-7-24 total-2,141 tdee- 2,567
(Yesterdays stats)
Yesterday was going great then I got home and everything was spiraling. I can’t lie I was thinking about how the attack would’ve been easier if I was drunk, but I didn’t drink anything so day 10 alcohol free today. Double digits! Today will be a better day. I’m getting rid of the food I binged, I know it’s a waste but I can risk

6:52am 1/2 built bar and energy drink (85)
I really didn’t want a protein drink this morning lol the bar is caramel like, might just be me but I don’t taste much cookie or cream. 7/10 will buy again

11:50am taco salad…again (360)
Lettuce (10) with chicken (175) onion (5) salsa (5) and sour cream (100) plus the other half of the built bar (65)

Thennn I lost my shit and had a panic attack cause my ac went out in 116 degree heat and I was so worried about my dogs, I settled for a window unit until it can get fixed.
Sunflower seeds (125)
Chips and dip (500)
Spinach dip with sour dough (520)
Like 5 bite sized brownies (875)

 

Forgot to mention in last post after binging I shouldn’t weight myself but today I’ll be logging my weight

 

7-8-24 total- 1,075 tdee- 2,398 (@9:16pm)
cw- 217.2lbs

Absolutely grossed out looking at the scale. Can’t remember the last time I went on one, I stopped because I didn’t like seeing the number go up and instead of fixing it I ignored the number and numbed myself to feeling bad. Without alcohol I’m forced to feel the bad and as disgusted as I am, I feel even more motivated to lose it all and be the old me again

Unpictured sunflower seeds (100)
6:52am didn’t really want this but i don’t wanna risk messing up routine that’ll cause cravings later, (160)

9:32am yum, (10)

12:08 usual, wanted chicken but saving calories for later and idk what it is but the tuna looks highly unappetizing this time around (190)
Buffalo tuna (70) on 0 carb tortillas (50) extra Buffalo (10) and onion (5)
Pickle (10)
Low fat cottage cheese (45)

8:12pm dinner on a cute plate, (465)
Chicken (350) on 0 carb tortillas (50) with sour cream (50) hot sauce (5) and salsa (10)
Steamed veggies (10) only ate one ear lol

8:31pm I enjoyed this bar way to much lol (140)

 

7-9-24 grocery haulllll I really have nothing better to do on my day off except sleep in till almost 1 then get ready to go grocery shopping lol

The pita bread is only 60cals for a whole one, gonna try to make pizza but load it up with veggies and sauce so I don’t need to use cheese the turkey pepperoni I got is gonna make it sooo good! More of the built puff bars cause I was so impressed with the one I had last night

The bell peppers were on sale for 50¢ each! The sauce is gonna be for the pizza and ground turkey spaghetti sauce which I’m gonna eat on green beans. Let’s hope these popsicles are better than the root beer ones

andddd drinks cause as a recovering alcoholic I need to be sipping something almost all the time

 

7-9-24 total- 710 tdee- 1,881 it’s so low when I don’t work lol
I love my days off but working keeps me on track and I burn calories easier.

Unpictured sunflower seeds (250)
Unpictured tea (10)
2:57pm late start to my day. First time trying this drink, sweet and yummy can’t wait to try the grape one (5)

4:46pm taco salad (445)
Chicken (200) on lettuce (25) with onion (5) hot sauce and Taco Bell sauce (15) and of course sour cream (200) sheez I needa cool it on the cream lol

 

7-10-24 total- too much tdee- 2,226

I don’t want to post yesterdays stats but the whole reason to this is to hold myself accountable, I complain and feel bad for myself but I still make dumb decisions. I’m glad I’m back to work today, it’s easier to avoid eating when I’m not in the house. It’s a new day, a new day to make choice I won’t regret

Skinny pop
Brownies
Chicken with mashed potatoes
tea (10)
9:56am breakfast (20)

1:49pm tuna salad, actually pretty good (180)
Tuna (70) on lettuce (15) with onion (5) hot sauce (5)
Cottage cheese (80) and pickles (5)

 

7-11-24 total- 495 tdee- 2,486

Gum (10)
8:02am first time trying this flavor not bad, (10)

9:30am taste like a cinnamon marshmallow, I only took 1 bite to try on my break was gonna eat the rest later but it melted everywhere sooo (20)

12:21pm Buffalo tuna salad, I took like 3 bites (50)
Buffalo tuna (70) on lettuce (10) with onions (5) pickles (5) and extra Buffalo (20)

7:39pm my favorite (140)

8:42pm dinner, the bbq sauce was such a good choice (265)
Tuna (90) on 0 carb tortillas (50) with onion (5) and bbq sauce (35)
Pickles (5) cottage cheese (80)

 

How does time fly? I was sober for these post but I barley remember them. I want to create a new thread for myself but I think keeping this one and getting to see the old post is a reality check, I stopped posting cause I yet again went back to alcohol. since then I've basically drank every night and let myself go. When I first started the thread my CW seemed so high but here I am May 29, 2025 and at my absolute highest and its really laugh worthy. I've never felt so fucking disgusting in my entire life. I want nothing more than to feel "OK" again. Here we go again. Im dumping out the rest of my alcohol tonight. I need to get better. I need to feel something other than being a fat drunk.

 

I'm sorry. I also struggle with alc and I feel you. You got this! LMK if you want to talk, and also if you start a new accountability, I'm a silent follower.

 

Thank you I really appreciate it same here I'm always here if needed! Today is day 1 and so far I feel really good about myself

 

Yesterday was my official first day without a drop of alcohol in literal MONTHS. I had one split second where I felt the urge but it passed fast. My eating wasn't great but it feels amazing to have control over something at least, starting tomorrow I'm going to track my calories more strictly and picture my meals. June is going to be a month of self control and getting the old me back. My goal is to aim for 1,200 or less but just until I feel I have more control over the alcohol because I'm terrified spiraling but I think I'm going to be okay (fingers crossed) oh and no weight update until I can afford a scale or grow a pair big enough to enter the gym ))

 

What a good start of the month!

Total intake: 680calories
Day 3 no alcohol

Pickles, 162.1g low fat cottage cheese, 72.8g 29.9g raw carrot, unweighed homemade ranch I have to guess the cals…150? It’s mayo, 2%milk and ranch seasoning I made it couple of days ago and didn’t weigh any of the ingredients.
(264)

New counters and backgrounds!! I’ve moved from CA tooo—-> MT since i last posted. I really love it here. No more roommates, no more blazing sun 8 months outta the year whooohooo

Iced coffee with milk, and creamer..I literally dont have any measuring cups so another guesstimate…I def didn’t use half a cup of milk but I’m gonna say 65 cals anyways and gonna log 70 cals (2 servings even tho it wasn’t) for the creamer to just be safe.
(140)

Tuna 81.8g with mayo 14g (last time I’m using that- 100cal for 1 serving f that), mustard and pickles 131.4g. Lettuce on the side so I can make “wraps” and 4 crackers 14.4g and of course hot sauce to go with
(276)

Not sure there’s anyway to make tuna really look appetizing haha but with enough pickles it’s one of my favorites.

Woke up late so I was able to have these bigger meals instead of multiple small ones. Tomorrow will be an earlier day (I’ve got a promising job interview) and I’m running out of groceries so that’ll be interesting.

 

June 2nd
Yesterday’s post, my sleep schedule is so backwards right now..I’m 75% sure it’s cause I use to pass out drunk every night now I actually have to try

total intake: 783calories
Day 4 no alcohol

Frozen Asian blend 83.2g, additional frozen broccoli florets 72.5g with teriyaki 2.5tbsp and siracha
(134)

+ Coffee to go with!
Same as yesterday - milk + creamer
(140)


I reallyyyy didn’t want to eat so early (6:30am) but I was up all night (literally) and I had a job interview, I NEEDED something to run on :’(

A whole can of salty green beans 227g
(39) I really forgot how yummy they are

Chicken 267.5g, with peppers 84.9g served with lettuce, sour cream 87.3g and salsa 2tbsp
(470)

Cooked the chicken and peppers with no oil only lime juice, hot sauce and seasonings. Not feeling great about the calories today :/

 

Total intake: 643 calories
Day 5 no alcohol

Turkey 82.6g lettuce wraps with thin sliced pepper jack 21.5g, banana peppers 8.7g with pickles 101g
(174)

these really hit the spot and I’m not completely upset about the calories…adding to my list of repeats

A white monster (the drink, not my fiancé haha I’m hilarious) and 27.2g dorito dinamitas
(156)

The calories for this amount of red 40…but my soul wanted it and it satisfied my need

Chicken 149g cooked with 4tbsp soy sauce, siracha and seasonings + asian mix veggies 70.3g and addition broccoli 89.8g and a huge zero sugar mtn dew that I’m saying is 25 cals?
(313)

Again chicken cooked in no oil the nonstick pan is my bestie, also did half a chicken breast tonight instead of a whole like last night feel way less guilty. I haven’t had soda in a long while and it was free so why not

 

The urge to drink tonight is REAL. I can’t. I’m not going to but damn I’m in a mood and drinking could fix it so fast but I need to remember it WILL pass.
My day started off great, finally got a decent paying job yay! but I’m so exhausted and can’t sleep and it’s making me moody lord help me I can’t wait to start work so I can stay busy

 

Total intake: over 1200 kms
Day 6 no alcohol

Unpictured and unweighed wrap, it was half tortilla, turkey and some kind of spread? It was made for me. Yummy but I’m overestimating the cals cause I’m sure the spread was plenty :,)
(~375)

Iced tea with sweetener
(5)

Going for tea instead of coffee until I can get lower calorie milk/creamer for the coffee

Chicken 208g cooked with broccoli 140g, 4tbsp soy sauce, Siracha and seasonings
(353)

Mandarin oranges 77.9g + unpictured iced coffee with milk no creamer (wasn’t gonna have coffee but I’m actively dying)
(106)

These things are a pain to eat…I can’t stand those white strings but this is the only fresh produce I have and I’m going thru it (I got broccoli but it’s frozen so I don’t feel like it counts)

No pics cause I’m ashamed, embarrassed and disgusted with myself. I should’ve been done for the day but I give up to easily and ate. I had a 2 egg sandwich with cheese and mayo and air fried potatoes. Idk how many calories i don’t even wanna think about it. I’m sure it’s over my 1,200 maximum. Over today ready to rot in bed now

 

June 5th - yesterdays stats

Total intake: over 1200
7 days no alcohol

No pics today don’t know the exact calories either.

• Slice of pizza
• 2 iced coffees with milk and creamer
• Way too many of those dorito dinamita chips. I’m throwing the rest out…I got them before I started restricting

Gonna be a rough few days until I get paid and can buy my safe, healthier foods.

 

Total intake: 845 calories. Idk why I was so hungry today :/
8 days no alcohol

Coffee with 1/2c milk and 2tbsp creamer
(135)

1/2 tortilla 26.9g with turkey 40g, thin sliced pepper jack 21.5g, banana peppers 11.4g, pickles 81.2g and of course the sauces
(213)

Low fat peach yogurt 108.2g (the best flavor)
(89)

Chicken noodle soup 293.5g with soup crackers 14.1g
(207)

Crackers 21.8g with pepper jack 20.4g and pickles 89.8g
(202)

 

Total intake: 915
9 days no alcohol

No pics today, it’s annoying but unless I’m ok with what I’m eating I’m to embarrassed to take pics of my food…Not happy with food choices but at least I’m under 1200 right?

• Frozen lasagna 2.5c (650) I almost feel like this isn’t enough but my portion was more sauce and cheese than noodle, and I didn’t finish it.
• 1 plain sad hot dog (130)
• Iced coffee with 1/2c milk and 2tbsp creamer (135)

 

I’m alive. Still sober, 14 days. Still fat, why’d I expect to instantly drop 50lbs since I stopped drinking? My fiancé had to remind me it takes time, how boring and dumb. I hate this waiting game.
Tomorrow I’m finally weighing myself, my mans friend gave us a scale, lucky me!! I wish I had one my first day sober so I can see if there’s a difference after 2 weeks. I’m nervous, I know it’s going to be a huge gross number but seeing that number go down is only going to motivate me more.

 

Never weighed myself :’) yea I’m really nervous to see the damage from all the drinking I’ve done.

Tomorrow I finally start work!!!!! It’s just orientation but I’m so excited to make money
——————

This is yesterdays log (June 14th) I had a bad dinner, I feel so wasteful when I eat good thru out the day just to eat shit and ruin what could’ve been a successful day.

Total intake: after dinner assuming over 1200
16 days sober

Coffee with 3tbsp creamer (45) and 1/4c milk (33) x2

Lettuce wrap with 63.6g turkey (68), 29.6g jalapeno (5), 99.4g pickle (18), Cucumber (15), 52.9g homemade yogurt ranch (66) and 70g cottage cheese (56)

I got a new brand of pickles and I didn’t realize they have dye in them so they’re literally neon

Zero sugar shasta soda (5)

My fiancé got this cup from takeout and I’m making my rounds with it lol

a disgusting amount of buffalo chicken biscuits. No pic cause I’m no good at keeping myself accountable :’)

 

17 days sober

Total intake: 550 before the pizza, idk the exact amount afterwards…probably just over 1200

Coffee with 3tbsp sf creamer (45), and 1/4c milk (33)

Cleaned up and froze a pack of chicken

138.3g Chicken (116) cooked with 32g buffalo sauce (30), 52.5g onion (21), 49.8g peppers (15), and 83.6g cabbage (23). With side of 60.5g lettuce (8), 13.5g jalapeños (2), and 50.2g of homemade yogurt ranch (63). zero sugar soda for drink (5)

27.5g cookie dough built bar (100) this flavor is dangerously good and 73.6g apple (38)

Then my fiance made pizza I at 2 slices