YES, at least i'm quiet abt my ED, but some people are so obvious it feels like they're humble bragging tbh.

Like "oh i just never feel hungry 🥺" "i'm only eating so much bc i haven't eaten all day hihi 🤭" "i get dizzy when i stand up bc i'm a low iron girly 😜" like STFU OMFG

 

Lol I don’t think I’ve ever bragged about having an eating disorder, in fact, I know I haven’t, but I have used some of those excuses to hide my ED. For example, I’ll say, oh, I don’t have an appetite. I don’t really feel hungry. And when I’m pale and dizzy and it’s noticeable and I have to go sit down during my shift at work I’ll say i’ve just been having issues with low blood sugar. But no one buys it anymore. I lie through my teeth and tell people I eat all the time, but people KNOW I don’t. I’ve even begun bringing a snack to work and maybe eating one cheez-it out of the bag or two so people actually think I’m eating. Lol when people ask me about my weight loss, I get really anxious so I try and tell them whatever I can to hide it.

 

One of my coworkers casually mentioned that she had too much for lunch so now she has to c/s her dinner and I was a little shook at how up front she was.

 

oh my god that's next level bad holy shitttt

 

idrc if i see ppl who are disordered restricting or anything, like i dont even make much attempt to hide things. but there is a difference between just not putting effort into hiding it vs being open about it. like when it gets to the point that they are talking abt it openly or romanticizing it or wtv then it bothers me a lot.

 

no this is exactly it like there's no obligation to fake being healthy, but when ppl get all cutesy with like explicitly disordered behaviors it's so upsetting to me like that's actually triggering for a lot of people! it's like if ppl were drawing little hearts around their sh wounds and humblebragging abt how much blood they lost! @skin-of-me i agree wholeheartedly and i don't mean to come across like i'm judging them for the behaviors themselves that would be wildly hypocritical, it's more the really broad insensitivity that makes me uncomfortable ahh

 

This is me with my younger sister. I hate how like obvious she is, like how she said she wouldn’t eat a banana bc the scale wasn’t working😭 like I’d do that too but I wouldn’t say anything about it I’d just put it back and act like I was just thinking of what to eat.

or how she never shuts up about “omggg I’m so hungry so I need to keep drinking water til my next meal” like okay?? 😭😭 or telling me she can’t eat more then 600 a day LIKE PLEASE SHUT UP. or how every fucking time I try to eat a meal in peace at the table she comes out and stares at me and is like “oooh what are u eating??” LIKE NONE OF UR BUSINESS. or when I make something and she asks to try some and when I let her she starts asking how many cals are in it. And when I say no she’s like ok greedy.

plus I hate our relationship now, it’s so disordered bc when I’m obviously bping and she starts eating a lot too she starts talking abt locking in and doing better tomorrow and I’m just frustrated by it. One time she ate so much she was hunched over and said her stomach was so distended her back was bent. Like I hate seeing her that way but I’m glad she hasn’t figured out purging is a thing. To not concern her I have to pretend my stomach hurts too but in a non disordered way like oh wow I ate a lot of sugar today probably shouldn’t have bc my stomach feels bad now. Whereas she’s like omg I’m probably 140 lbs again. Like no ur not ??

And bc I purge and experience immediate relief and don’t gain weight I kinda have to bc food doesn’t just disappear yk.

one time I made a ramen bowl w two packs ramen, ton of cottage cheese, can of tuna, and miracle whip, but at the time I was bping so I didn’t know the exact cals but it was def over 1000. Anyway she was like omg how many cals are in that and I said “idk like 600?” And she was like “actually there’s definitely way more in that, more then I eat in a day” like please shut the fuck up?? I know she’s struggling but so am I and I’d never act like that towards her. How do some people not feel guilty for saying triggering stuff or being obnoxious abt their ed?😭am I just missing something??

I’m honestly somewhat tired of dealing with her / hanging out with her anymore bc I just miss her pre ed and now ALL she talks abt is food and weight.

Like no I didn’t wanna know your goal weight was 100 lbs or that you think ur legs are huge at 120 lbs / 5’8 after losing 20 lbs.

and yes she’s clearly sick but I can’t emphasize with her constantly talking about her disordered habits to everyone bc I genuinely don’t get it bc I’d never do that. I would never casually say I think I’m fat when according to my little brother I look like a Minecraft skeleton bc I wouldn’t wanna look crazy or draw attention. And I would never casually say I wanna be an uw bmi on purpose. I just don’t get it but I hope she finds peace some day or gets help.

edit: also I’m aware I rambled a lot but idk it’s just I have no one to talk to abt this lmao so idk that’s probably why

 

This is me with my younger sister. I hate how like obvious she is,

i just wanna say i feel this post on a spiritual level this is exactly what my relationship used to be with my sibling. we don't live under the same roof anymore which helps tho

 

We don't know what other people are going through and shouldn't judge.....

 

This 100 percent. More than 100 percent. You have an eating disorder and they potentially probably have an eating disorder as well. I only have (and harness) empathy for others I see suffering, though I understand the way you feel or mixed emotions.

What if someone felt those ways about you? Judgmental? An eating disorder is pretty hard to hide sometimes, especially anorexia. Should we all be hiding our eating disorders and feeling shame?

I’m just venting! I do understand..

people that flaunt and sort of make fun of their disorder, alright. Yeah it’s cringey.. but idk .. I just hope this post doesn’t come across as confrontational or angry, I gethow you feel

 

I get it because i try to put on a just naturally thin-eat what i want persona to others and i never talk about anything ed related to people because i think that it's unhelpful and unnecessary anyone else could be struggling too. But sometimes it does shock me when people i know are so honest about their weightloss or eating.

 

Sort of? I can totally understand it, it always would really piss me off at my lowest weights when randoms would say semi-disordered things or draw attention to their dieting/weight loss/eating habits randomly around me because it felt like they were trying to get my validation or something, and I have no respect for the subtility of it. I take a very much 'shut-up-and-just-starve' approach when it comes to myself, this website is the only place I really am open about any of it, so I kind of get annoyed when people take that middle ground (and this is awful, but especially when they are a normal weight) and won't either come right out and be blunt about things or just keep it to themselves. It feels like some sort of trap.
do you want me to be so for real for you? Or like to beg you to stop? or encourage you? I don't know and don't care. You can see I've let this lead me to near death and if you don't want that perspective why in the hell are you engaging me? I'm not a safe space even for myself, I'm just barely convincing myself to stay alive
In other words, don't mind it if they're very aware and very straightforward/real/raw about it (in a private setting.) That's refreshing.
Do not and will never fuck with the 'teehee didn't eat breakfast this morning look at me' nudge nudge type of thing. I empathize, but will not entertain

 

This 100 percent. More than 100 percent. You have an eating disorder and they potentially probably have an eating disorder as well. I only have (and harness) empathy for others I see suffering, though I understand the way you feel or mixed emotions.

What if someone felt those ways about you? Judgmental? An eating disorder is pretty hard to hide sometimes, especially anorexia. Should we all be hiding our eating disorders and feeling shame?

I’m just venting! I do understand..

We don't know what other people are going through and shouldn't judge.....

I think there is a difference between not hiding it and being very open about it, like how I had explained in the post I made. I think its fine to not hide being disordered but when it gets to the point where you are just talking openly about being disordered and making comments about food and body image it becomes an issue. People are suffering but grown adults should know better to say triggering things or romanticize their disorders openly when it can make people relapse or make other people develop eating disorders

 

I don’t know, I actually think itd be great if more people openly talked about their eating disorders. I really support that. I guess it just depends on the exact contexts and their specific intentions. No one should be out to harm other people or intentionally trigger, I guess it really depends on the details/specifics of what someone is saying or doing. 💖

 

i think theres two types of situations
1. someone at odds with their ed - meaning they are having a public emotional response with them trying to fight their ed
2. someone boosting their ed - meaning they are open about their ed in a way that boosts their ego and making people aware of their restrictive behaviors

in the first scenario, i only ever feel empathy for them. there have been times where ive had straight up panic attacks in public because of my ed telling me what to do. i mean crying and shaking at restaurants, flat out not showing up when food is involved, etc. its obvious that im struggling with something and anytime i see something like that happen to someone else, all i know is how hard they are trying to fight.

in the second scenario, its so frustrating to be around that type of person. it almost seems lie they are making their ed competitive without actually realizing how harmful their behavior is. its just unkind and i have no respect for people who are open about their ed with people who are unprepared to hear it.

 

The second scenario is just messed up IMO. People really shouldn't be romanticizing this stuff.. they can do that in their own heads, but definitely not to other people.

 

Part of what you’re picking up on is the denial mask. People deep in restriction often lean on humor or “quirkiness” to deflect concern. It’s not that they’re trying to be cute or attention seeking, it’s a coping mechanism and a shield. But for someone who’s been there, it can look tone-deaf or performative because you know how dangerous it is behind the scenes.

It’s okay to feel that cringe. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it’s your brain spotting a painful pattern and going “ugh.”

 

Ugh literally my (ex) best friend was like this. Made literally everything a competition or regular comments about how cute and quirky she was, being tiny and lightheaded all the time. Casually talking about how she'd fasted for days on end or calling small servings of food a binge. Like I understand the struggle, I really do, but fuck did I want to throttle her. She ended up triggering my gf, who was trying super hard to recover at the time, into attempting to purge. It was the last straw for me. Had to cut her off after that

 

Ugh literally my (ex) best friend was like this. Made literally everything a competition or regular comments about how cute and quirky she was, being tiny and lightheaded all the time. Casually talking about how she'd fasted for days on end or calling small servings of food a binge. Like I understand the struggle, I really do, but fuck did I want to throttle her. She ended up triggering my gf, who was trying super hard to recover at the time, into attempting to purge. It was the last straw for me. Had to cut her off after that

So cringe… Some people use their ED as a status flex, like “look how disciplined I am, look how fragile and delicate I can make myself, I’m different from you because I can deny basic needs.” Bruh……

I don’t get people who brag about having an ed or not eating. It’s giving honeymoon phase wannarexic.
anyone bragging about an ED doesn’t fully grasp the cost yet. Once the disorder digs in, the “wannarexic aesthetic” burns off fast, because it’s not cute . It’s terrifying, isolating, and life consuming.

 

Same thing happens here

Every body gets their validation differently

 

okay, having slept on it i feel the need to admit that i was probably more heated about this specific situation that i should have been: coworker eating a slice of the company-provided pizza, in a circle of people eating the pizza, commenting on my Not eating the pizza (gluten! dairy! whatever yes i am being a hypocrite) by saying how after this meal she was going to not eat anything for two days because she needs to get skinny; doubling down when most of us said 'woah that's not healthy' and going on a whole 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' type rant but with the tone of like, someone 'ironically' collecting labubus. realistically worse happens all the time and the world keeps spinning, moreover she's still my friend and i'm more worried for her than i am annoyed by her lol. but a lot of ppl have brought up situations where one might be even more open abt behaviors that don't hit the same nerve for me so like clearly there's nuance and i shouldn't be judgemental just bc i'm hangry-watching others eat bc of My Own Fucking ED lmao! there's a time & place for everything and everyone keeping their eds top secret is probably a net bad (even if it's borne out of the constant invasive threat of forced treatment) idk i need another coffee but yallve given me some food for thought

 

tbh I would say I'm annoyed with most anorexic behaviors, but I also recognize it's unhelpful to express that annoyance, even just towards myself.

And I've been too long in mental illness circles to be bothered by "romanticizing", if anything it's the complaining about it that annoys me. "Oh no people try to make their bleak life less bleak by giving it a narrative!" Get over yourself(general "you"), you being a realist and suffering in silence won't save you either. I would know.

All that is, is a coping mechanism. A misguided one, but none of us can make the best decisions all the time while actively suffering. Ofc you can feel however you like(like I said, I'm not above being annoyed by ana behaviors in general), it doesn't make you a bad person or anything, this is just how I feel about it from more "rational" standpoint.