Personally, I just scroll past those posts. I mean I never go into selfies forum but when they show up on this one, yeah I pretty much just ignore them because it's either "you're super skinny, no you don't look fat" or they're average sized and I wouldn't want to say anything that might make them feel worse about themselves.

 

personally, it’s a really rocky subject because all of us are probably struggling with how we look and obviously dont wanna hear a number that could be potentially triggering.
but i don’t think it’s right to outright lie to them either. and i feel like it’s obvious when people are lying.

but i think it’s better to stay quiet, especially when other people are echoing lower numbers. it just kinda seems like an asshole move.
HOWEVER i do think if they really emphasize and specify the “please be honest. idc about the number whether its ow, uw or normal” then id think it’s justifiable ..??

hope people dont come at me 😭

 

that’s mostly why I stay quiet cuz obviously we are all struggling & I don’t wanna hurt any one’s feelings, but even when people say “BE HONEST” I get this feeling they don’t actually want the honesty & just wanna b validated, which I think it’s a troubling mindset to go into posting your body with

I don’t think imma start commenting or being in the selfies forum any time soon I’m just thinking about it a lot lol

 

I want the honest truth! Please don’t tell me things You think I want to hear. It doesn’t really help.
Also think people play on the safe side with their replies to those kind of posts but yea. If someone asks for brutally honest opinion I’ll give it to them

 

This. 100%. I want NO lies

 

I’ve noticed the same thing myself.

I tend not to respond because I don’t want to be wrong with a “guess my bmi” post or trigger someone, I know that if I was asking for the feed back I’d want the truth though!

someone telling me I look bmi 19 when I’m 22 or whatever isn’t going to make me feel better about myself so I wouldn’t want it sugar coated (this may also be because my ED isn’t “looks” driven so it doesn’t personally matter/motivate me to keep going)

 

I usually stay quiet unless they really emphasize they want the truth, and when I do tell them the truth I don’t go into details I will state the BMI I really think they are and leave it at that.
When my BMI was between 17.5 and 18 I posted a “guess my BMI”in the selfies forum and had someone tell me I should weigh myself again because they agreed I didn’t look underweight.
What hurt me wasn’t that they agreed with me in that I didn’t think I looked underweight, it was the unnecessary comment that I should weigh myself again. That did hurt.
I think it’s okay to be honest, just don’t be unnecessarily rude when telling the truth. Keep it short and as sweet as possible.

 

I usually stay quiet unless they really emphasize they want the truth, and when I do tell them the truth I don’t go into details I will state the BMI I really think they are and leave it at that.
When my BMI was between 17.5 and 18 I posted a “guess my BMI”in the selfies forum and had someone tell me I should weigh myself again because they agreed I didn’t look underweight.
What hurt me wasn’t that they agreed with me in that I didn’t think I looked underweight, it was the unnecessary comment that I should weigh myself again. That did hurt.
I think it’s okay to be honest, just don’t be unnecessarily rude when telling the truth. Keep it short and as sweet as possible.

LmAo as if you don’t regularly weigh yourself & know more than some random
that shit is ignorant & unnecessary

 

i’ve seen both ends. there’s the obvious white lies of people who lowball the bmi’s on the selfies forum, and then there are some that seem like they are purposely trying to make people feel shit about themselves. i saw a guess my bmi post where someone with a 18.7 bmi had people guessing 22-25! idk i try to stay out of those posts most of the time.

 

I never comment on any of those things because I don't think any answer helps, and a huge number of answers always seem to be either absurdly off or lowballing it in a very specific way.

Like believably 15-16, bunch of people guess 13-14. Believably 11-12, guess single digits. Probably normal weight, guess 18.4. The stock answers for "pretty thin, but I don't want to say it's just pretty thin" seem to be 14 and "normal, but I don't want to say it's normal" seems to be 18. I honestly can't tell if people are just that bad at it or if it's a white lie to be considerate thing.

I don't think it helps anyone at all to participate in it. Poster either gets input they still can't trust as terribly accurate based on... you know, disordered people being the ones giving opinions, people who don't know what certain weight ranges generally look like answering, people lying in an attempt to be kind or cruel. If they like the answers, it still won't solve the dysmorphia-- same people come back again and again for guesses/cheap validation that will last all of an hour. The answerers are just feeding the weird gamification of the illness and don't stand to personally gain anything. It's all useless and damaging imo.

 

I notice a trend of most people guessing bmis that are clearly far lower than what the person looks like. I've been underweight all the way to obese. So especially if the poster is around my height, I'm pretty good at guessing a close bmi. But sometimes the poster is clearly within a normal bmi range and most responses are saying they look bmi 17-18. I don't know if people are being dishonest or are genuinely bad at guessing bmi.

 

If they're posting that sort of thing at a higher BMI, they likely know they're not going to get the same response on this website as someone who is underweight.
That being said though, its not rude to be honest. I would be more worried about what actions they take after reading negative posts. Obviously we cant be responsible for someone else's emotions or actions online, but I try to keep in mind that people on this site have some sort of mental illness and are looking for a safe space 💙

 

I'm as honest as possible on those tbh. But I will sometimes guess lower than the actual BMI. That's not because I'm telling them what they want to hear but because that's how I thought I looked at the BMI I guessed. I notice BMI guesses are getting lower compared to years ago but I've also noticed more ppl than ever in the selfies forum are severely underweight, like BMI 13 or under. So I think those guys + me tend to base it off how we thought we looked ourselves at higher BMIs.

 

im not about to give fake compliments if u look bmi 23 i will just scroll. mayb drop a like or sum and move on

 

I try not to say anything when OP is a bit chubby since I feel sorry for them. I do tell the truth though when someone is really skinny and feels big, though.

 

honesty. what’s the point of them asking if they just get lied to? I’m kinda chubby right now, and i get PISSED when people try to tell me I’m not it’s honestly insulting and condescending and people act like being fat is a permanent state, like no, I can just lose weight, just be real with me. It worsens body dysmorphia and trust in other people when people constantly lie to u about ur appearance and then i am never able to take peoples comments on my body seriously, even when i do get actually concerningly underweight, what people say to me means nothing to me because people lied to me when i was objectively chubby also

 

I assume if they ask they want honesty. If they don’t want honesty then maybe they shouldn't post it [emoji2372]

 

People (in general) have a really hard time dealing with the truth even when they ask for the truth.

And it is because of that that I prefer to keep my opinions to myself.

I almost never comment on those posts. I always think that whatever you can say is never going to be the right answer.

 

This rant definitely hit home for me and I 100% agree with everyone’s opinions here. I’m not going to lie though, some people really do look much higher than their BMI and some people really do look less. It just depends on how fortunate/unfortunate someone’s genetics are and to be honest I’ve seen people where I refuse to believe their BMIs are real going both ways 💀.

Please be honest (in a polite way) in my place OP because I usually don’t respond to those type of posts and would love to see some more honesty (in a non disordered perspective).

 

Generally speaking, I haven't seen many people that low-ball. I've seen way more people high ball guesses imo. At least, the guesses I've seen. If I genuinely don't know, I don't guess. That's my policy. If I don't know, I won't put my opinion out there.

I honestly feel like people here don't know what underweight or normal weight looks like. Much less guessing higher BMIs.

I also feel like people are really shit at guessing in general people who are at extremes of height (tall or short) and assume that everyone is an orthorexic overexerciser with high levels of muscle or something.

Generally, I think that unless you look "stereotypically" underweight, you are liable to get some weird guesses, especially on an ED forum here. I've lived with UW people who didn't look like thinspo or what is traditionally seen as UW but it doesn't change that they are UW.

My policy is, if I don't know, I won't tell either way. I won't lie. But I won't reply.

I don't understand lying to someone about thinness. But it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I don't really know tbh. I have posted bmi guesses recently and I have trouble believing my scale. This post kind of makes me paranoid that people think I'm lying about my stats. I'm not sure. But that's a me problem and no one owes my triggers.

But tl;Dr is that we're all struggling. Exercise sensitivity when replying. If you're really in doubt, say nothing.

To those that post selfies: don't take it personally. For several factors, people are shit at guessing.

 

these days it's "rude" to tell anyone what they don't want to hear. I mean come on, who's actually gonna sit there and say that someone looks chubby or heavier than they say? Even if that person is sensitive and kind about it, they'll still be attacked by some people online for "fat shaming"

 

There are some things I do to help with this.
1. If they don't look like they can take it I say nothing
2. If I say something that I think might be a response they didn't want I make sure to point out lots of things they have that I do like! (nice arms, hair, small waist, toned, etc)
3. I give myself a bit of wiggle room because I know my views are distorted due to anorexia and body dysmorphia. If I think they are fat, they might not actually be fat so while I don't outright lie, I do shift what I say in a more positive direction than what I actually think.

Edit: I have rarely seen someone with a bmi of 23 post photos on the anorexia forum. Maybe I'm just blind and don't go into those posts too often but do remember that your guesses might be off due to this disease. (again no idea but still)

 

‘guess my bmi’ & body checks asking opinions are posted in “selfies” forum (or should b at least) & there are ppl of all weights in the threads

 

guessing bmi is tricky because the same BMI can look different on people based on height, muscle mass, etc but I always try to be honest. I stick with people in the mid to low range because that's what I'm most confident with (like above 24-25 I don't think I could be very accurate) but if someone looks like bmi 22 I'm gonna say 22.

 

i try and be truthful

 

tbh i think a lot of them are either looking for reassurance or meanspo so i just avoid those posts. i dont wanna be responsible for making someone’s ed worse

 

I'd personally comment that fat is not a subjective thing but it can be measured using the BMI and waist to hip ratio. In something that's objective, my opinion has no value. My opinion is also skewed by my eating disorder and body dysmorphia which means that I might consider some normal sized bodies 'fat'. Doesn't mean that they're overweight.

If someone asked me if I think they're chubby, I'd ask them if they feel like they are... And to sort of revert the discussion away from my opinion.

 

I think some people who ask to guess their BMI get a buzz form the answers,some may get triggered into lowering their BMI more Personally I don't answer their question because I don't want to trigger them,if I did comment I would give my honest opinion because that's what they have asked for. I do read the post but I just scroll on by.

 

I treat people how I'd want to be treated. I know I would want someone to give me their honest opinion, when asking to guess my bmi, so I just do the same for others.

 

I want honesty 100%. There's no need to be rude with honesty, you can literally just comment a number or something, or scroll by if you feel like being mean.

I post selfies partly as a record for myself, but also I am so genuinely unsure on my body that I do look for others opinions, because I don't trust my own. I'd also welcome well meaning advice. Definitely don't want to be lied to.

It’s a touchy subject I feel like if you’re not able to word it in a nice way you should just not comment on the other hand lying doesn’t help anyone

To be honest, I usually keep quiet for two reasons. One, I have an ED and my view of my body (and maybe others, I'm not sure) is very disordered. The second is even if that person is fat, they could have had/have an eating disorder and I do not want to trigger that. I usually just tell them I care about them, I want them to live a long life and to take care of themselves the best they can in that moment." I'm not saying there is a right or wrong way as there is many pro/cons to each but that is just what I normally do.

Apart from just commenting a number & nothing else, I think people take any agreement/high bmi guess as rude no matter how nicely you try to word things or how neutral & honest your statement is.
I honestly still just avoid all posts like that because despite the comments here saying everyone wants honesty, from what I’ve seen that isn’t the case.