This is such a great question.

I think it's had an enormous influence on me if I'm completely honest. There's always been a lurking sense that my loneliness and general anxiety will be more manageable if I have one of the more edgy disorders. That I can get lost in the idea that I'm a fictional character.

It's hard to separate a brilliant movie with a fascinating character and the idea that the illness itself would be fascinating to have. Before I started starving maybe I thought it would be an interesting project. I've been mentally ill for over a decade but perhaps I felt it would be a better illness to have. Who knows...

Being a mysterious waif like thing clasping a mug of coffee is such an obvious expression. Maybe this is more appealing than being the anonymous girl with plain old depression.

Who knows.

 

Oh and all the books I've read are autobiographical so they are true to the disorder. Yet somehow the fascination is there alongside the heartache and destruction. Myra hornbacher's wasted is written so beautifully that is automatically romanises it - people will disagree I'm sure.

 

lol, next to me and what I do to myself... when it comes to the media romanticizing ED's they are nothing but amatures

 

Tbh, I don't have much exposure to TV, movies, etc. anymore. Life's too busy and I don't really enjoy much that's being put out there anymore...

But I was never really into TV anyway.

I totally get the romanticizing life and the over generalizing bit. She has a great life. She also got cancer. Bc she has cancer people only speak about her positive characteristics now ("she's so strong," "she's such a fighter," "I couldn't do it with as much grace," etc.). If I had cancer I would have a great life.

It's easy to do unless I remain analytical and logical. I have to try really hard to remember that I need to work on having good character qualities now. Nothing horrible has to happen to me to exhibit honesty, kindness, virtue, etc. The fallacy of the premise that if the sufferings written into the plot of the movie afflict me then my life will become glamorous or idillic is absurdly obvious...yet I get the lure of that trap...

I'm rambling...

 

i was sick before i started paying attention the media, but the media romanticizing illness certainly perpetuated it. i fell in love with melancholy, so to speak. i revel in my suffering

 

I am more afraid to talk about it for fear of looking like a wannarexic, certainly.

 

Oh and all the books I've read are autobiographical so they are true to the disorder. Yet somehow the fascination is there alongside the heartache and destruction. Myra hornbacher's wasted is written so beautifully that is automatically romanises it - people will disagree I'm sure.

That book is amazing, and I agree with you in a sense. I feel like with these types of books, you get what you're looking for out of it. If you're looking for tips, that's what you're going to get. If you just read it, you can see the hell poetically depicted.

 

it's one of the reasons why i don't like talking about my illnesses. i don't want people to associate my problems with those fake deep "edgy" movies/tv shows. it also makes it hard for me to take myself seriously sometimes, idk why

 

Idk the popular 2: requiem for a dream does the opposite of romanticizing addiction....

And prozac nation shows how self-destructive she was to everyone around her.

Probably my favorite show dealing with mental illness is please like me, it's like a light-hearted dramedy.

Alot of the characters deal with mental health/general issues but it's accepting, and showcases it casually without making it theatrical.

 

drugs being romanticized in the media literally made me into a drug addict and ruined my life. I had decided I wanted to do a lot of drugs in my life by the time I was 11 years old, and ideally be a heroin addict when I grew up, because "they're supposed to feel good and the drug addicts are always the most awesome characters in books/TV/movies, I feel like I can relate to being so deep and in such inner turmoil, but being such a good person despite it" basically. drugs make you into an awful person. end of. I did so many terrible things to so many people. I had not a single care in the world but satisfying my addiction and a trail of destruction followed my wake everywhere I went. but I got my wish of becoming a heroin addict. ah youth. and fuck the media for ever even making an impressionable young kid think that being a heroin addict would be "awesome."

 

Most of the time the movies and shows I watch don't show the nitty gritty. So I will sometimes find myself saying maybe partying and doing all kinds of drugs isn't so bad...🤔💡. Which isn't true, and I know I'll be addicted before I know it. Also making it seem like have inner turmoil makes you 3 dimensional and intriguing, but actually it just makes you feel like damaged goods with no hope of ever being normal. Showing people with fucked up lives just living normally and only breaking down occasionally...what?

But mostly it makes other people start romanticizing mental illness. When I see the amount of people who think there's nothing wrong with sociopathic tendencies, being narcissistic, or glamorizing EDs...it drives me crazy. None of these things are okay, no matter how cute the media makes them look. Then they think they're experts just cause they've seen a few movies. And they start claiming things that you don't really want to be suffering from.

 

I just wrote about this in my accountability thread.

I hate that mental illness in the movies (especially for female characters) is seen as beautiful in some way. Like we're mysterious, beautiful beings who need to be saved. It always goes a little something like this:

Mentally ill girl (beautiful and mysterious) has no will to live. Amazing guy comes along who loves her self destruction and wants to save her. She doesn't want to be saved. Struggle insues. She is saved and the live happily ever after.

Its ridiculous. In real life, nobody loves the messed up girl. This can't be further from the truth.

As for men, well if theyre mentally ill, theyre just crazy, murderous psycopathic abusers.

I hate the whole thing. I don't want to be "damaged goods" and I don't want to be saved. The movie that really pisses me off is "Love and other Drugs". I don't know too many guys who would stick around through her crazy. Just... completely unrealistic.

 

drugs being romanticized in the media literally made me into a drug addict and ruined my life. I had decided I wanted to do a lot of drugs in my life by the time I was 11 years old, and ideally be a heroin addict when I grew up, because "they're supposed to feel good and the drug addicts are always the most awesome characters in books/TV/movies, I feel like I can relate to being so deep and in such inner turmoil, but being such a good person despite it" basically. drugs make you into an awful person. end of. I did so many terrible things to so many people. I had not a single care in the world but satisfying my addiction and a trail of destruction followed my wake everywhere I went. but I got my wish of becoming a heroin addict. ah youth. and fuck the media for ever even making an impressionable young kid think that being a heroin addict would be "awesome."

Same with me.

 

Media romanticizing mental illness gave me such weird expectations for my own anxiety and depression. I thought love would be able to save me. I thought I'd be "mysterious" and "untouchable" and that everyone would just know by looking at me.

Instead I spend a lot of my time being slightly weirded out when I realize that most people who meet me but don't really know me think I'm this sweet, happy person when in reality I'm constantly on edge and worried about something if not internally freaking out about it, have difficulty speaking in a lot of social situations, have scars on my upper thighs, and spend a significant amount of time in my room just lying in bed or crying.