i feel like i should just die constantly, since besides my boyfriend, no one's ever seen beyond the face of my ED and down into all the bullshit i go through. it doesn't matter if it doesnt kill me to everyone else, so it feels like i have to die for people to of realized my feelings.

not really that i hate the ED 'cause it's clearly an emotional crutch, but i hate the symptoms and i hate not mattering.

 

I feel like the heavier I am, the more I like it. When I am bigger, I think “ED is gonna save me from this fat misery”. Once I do thin down, I think, “wow this kinda sucks”

 

i feel like i should just die constantly, since besides my boyfriend, no one's ever seen beyond the face of my ED and down into all the bullshit i go through. it doesn't matter if it doesnt kill me to everyone else, so it feels like i have to die for people to of realized my feelings.

not really that i hate the ED 'cause it's clearly an emotional crutch, but i hate the symptoms and i hate not mattering.

I just feel like I'm trying so hard to beat this and it's just not going to happen. People are starting to give up on me. And if people give up I thinkI'll lose all hope. And if this is how my life is going to be then I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting.

 

I feel like the heavier I am, the more I like it. When I am bigger, I think "ED is gonna save me from this fat misery". Once I do thin down, I think, "wow this kinda sucks"

I'm not even underweight or anything. My health isn't in the best shape but I'm functioning. I cried into a bowl of 1/4 cup of ground turkey today because no matter way I lose. If I eat I'm not good enough, if I don't eat I'm not good enough.

 

i absolutely hate it but at the same time it's comforting i don't know

i think i'll probably take my life sooner or later instead of living like this it hurts

i'm hurting others because i can't cope with all this, i don't think my life is worth the pain of others