So...yeah. Never thought I'd be saying this.
I abused laxatives for around 3-4 years so far, and my colon is atonic. I'm always constipated, and will poop once every week. The pressure and stomach cramps get horrible by the 4 day point. So I tried an enema for the first time. I was finally able to poop, I felt empty and clean and not like a stuffed tick.
But you know when you do something or feel something, and you immediately know that it's going to seriously fuel your eating disorder? That's what I felt. It was like a rush of euphoria for some reason. I was restricting but would always gain food weight (as it builds up), but now I can restrict, clean everything out, and I lose even more weight.
I was addicted to laxatives and finally was able to stop, but now it's like the addiction just transferred to the enemas. I don't know what to do or how to feel about that. I don't even know if enemas are safe, it was a rash decision.
I abused laxatives for around 3-4 years so far, and my colon is atonic. I'm always constipated, and will poop once every week. The pressure and stomach cramps get horrible by the 4 day point. So I tried an enema for the first time. I was finally able to poop, I felt empty and clean and not like a stuffed tick.
But you know when you do something or feel something, and you immediately know that it's going to seriously fuel your eating disorder? That's what I felt. It was like a rush of euphoria for some reason. I was restricting but would always gain food weight (as it builds up), but now I can restrict, clean everything out, and I lose even more weight.
I was addicted to laxatives and finally was able to stop, but now it's like the addiction just transferred to the enemas. I don't know what to do or how to feel about that. I don't even know if enemas are safe, it was a rash decision.
