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My roommate doesn't eat until 8pm, I usually eat my cals around lunch
i went swimming last weekend and this group of teenagers boys asked for my workout routine, i cant figure out if they were trying to tease me for being fat or tease me for being skinny 🥴
 
my own exustence
 
Not one but two (2) grocery store employees commented on how i look/what i was buying at the store today. I wanted to shrivel up and disappear
 
Have been overweight since high school. Fat set point for my height since mom always insisted on luncheon meat and cooking every dinner with overly large portion sizes and insane amounts of butter. Annoyed I've not had a different lot in life. My dream would be to look like an Elsa Hosk or Charlize Theron.
 
what did they say ?
Its actually kinda funny bc they said opposite things😭😭

The first one was stocking bread, I was trying to decide what to get and he asked if I was looking for the 647 brand (the lowest cal health bread LOLLL)
I said no, just comparing brands, and he said he sees me buy a bunch of healthy stuff all the time and figured id be looking for it 😭😭😭 meanwhile I have literally 12 bags of family sized chips for bp in my cart😭

Then while I was doing self check out, the cashier who always watches me from her register came over and asked if all the food was for me. "No I buy for a bunch of people ahahahahahaah" (lies😭)
She said "youre lucky you don't have to worry about exercise and can eat whatever you want! You're so skinny, where does it all go!" IN THE TOILET😭😭😭😭

As an an-bp, one guy saw me buy my safe foods and the lady saw my bp foods. My grocery cart is always insane looking lol. I am ashamed of it all 😭😭😭 i really hate myself for it and i hate that everyone around me notices and comments on it😭💔
 
Its actually kinda funny bc they said opposite things😭😭

The first one was stocking bread, I was trying to decide what to get and he asked if I was looking for the 647 brand (the lowest cal health bread LOLLL)
I said no, just comparing brands, and he said he sees me buy a bunch of healthy stuff all the time and figured id be looking for it 😭😭😭 meanwhile I have literally 12 bags of family sized chips for bp in my cart😭

Then while I was doing self check out, the cashier who always watches me from her register came over and asked if all the food was for me. "No I buy for a bunch of people ahahahahahaah" (lies😭)
She said "youre lucky you don't have to worry about exercise and can eat whatever you want! You're so skinny, where does it all go!" IN THE TOILET😭😭😭😭

As an an-bp, one guy saw me buy my safe foods and the lady saw my bp foods. Mt grocery cart is always insane looking lol. I am ashamed of it all 😭😭😭 i really hate myself for it and i hate that everyone around me notices and comments on it😭💔
that's actually kinda funny they said such different things based on what they saw in your cart :LOL:
even more funny (in a yikes way tho) that the woman was so tone deaf with that comment...

i'm sorry you feel ashamed, you shouldn't be. it's honestly no one's business to comment on what others buy unless you're directly asking for their input. i hope you enjoy everything you bought and please try to take care of yourself <3
 
that's actually kinda funny they said such different things based on what they saw in your cart :LOL:
even more funny (in a yikes way tho) that the woman was so tone deaf with that comment...

i'm sorry you feel ashamed, you shouldn't be. it's honestly no one's business to comment on what others buy unless you're directly asking for their input. i hope you enjoy everything you bought and please try to take care of yourself <3
Awe thank you so much for your kind words 😭😭 yeah and that cashier has told me similar things/commented on it multiple times in the past, I get it i look insane 😭😭😭 i sprint out of the store at top speed when im done LOL

Tysm, you take care of yourself too!! 🩷
 
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My wedding is in October. If I look fat in front of everyone I know I’m going to lose my mind.
 
i saw a picture of myself and i thought my face was too chubby, which made me feel bad.
 
Ok sorry in advance cus I feel like this is going to turn into a rant. So because of my autism and mental health issues I live in supported living with 3 other people and we have staff 24/7. Recently the old manager got fired because she stole 10 grand from one of other residents which is actually unbelievable because she was nice and she seemed trustworthy I guess anyway because of my ed the staff were supposed to cook me my evening meal every day and like that was typically all I would eat. I was managing fine like I’d basically eat one meal a day and b/p once in a while and my ed was constant but not completely taking over my life. But then the new manager comes along and says because I have ‘capacity’ I have to cook for myself. And of course I won’t complain about that and when the staff ask if I’m going to eat I just smile and say I’m not hungry. I’d like to cook for myself because then I could count calories everyday and like be in control. But my ed won’t let me like I feel so much shame around eating there is no way I could just go in the fridge and get food with everyone like watching me I just could never do that. And there are a couple of the staff who kinda hate me and they’re like your just not eating cus your lazy and it’s triggered me so bad and I feel bad for ever eating what people cooked for me and it’s like my ed has taken over my entire mind again and basically I’m now fasting and walking 20-40k steps a day. My minds constantly telling me I’m too fat to just restrict and I need to fast and partly I’m happy because it means I will lose weight but then part of me is angry because like the staff all know about my ed and like that I’ve been in hospital for it before and they’re meant to be there to support me not make me feel shitty about myself. And they don’t get it cus all the others here even if no one cooked for them would eat like now they’re just living off junk basically pot noodles and pasties and chocolate but they’re still eating. I’m the only one who would come to the frankly insane conclusion that I just can’t eat at all. And it’s not like I even minded helping like I used to help the staff cook for the others all the time it was fun but like I feel too guilty to actually make that choice to eat without someone basically making me. But people just seem to have very little compassion or understanding about eating disorders.
 
School starting soon. New (small) clothes, spent a lot of money on. Applied for food stamps, waiting for them. New job. Mom waiting for her food stamps too. New younger friend (coworker). Summer. And I’ve lost 60 pounds this year. Walking a lot and I’m proud of myself. Buying food and cooking for my brother all the time . Oh yeah and I need to get the car fixed (new battery/ needs tune up/ needs a whole new windshield/ I pray nothing else is wrong ) so I can drive to school. I need gas money and my financial aid hasn’t came through yet. Ugh. Need to take the drivers license test as mine had expired. Just remembered that I have a doctors appointment soon to try and get on a sleep medicine.. he’s a new doctor I’ll have to tell him that I haven’t taken my Lybalvi like either ever or in a long time idk. My mom is going to flip, I hope not. She thinks I take it and I’ve been getting it prescribed for a year.. I’m literally not bipolar, schizophrenic or depressed.. but I DO need a sleep medication. Sigh. Wow no wonder I’m non stop losing weight.
60 is a lot, no matter what your starting point. <3 Good luck with your doctor's visit and car issues oof.
 
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The way the floorboards/stairs/carpet moves under my feet
 
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