[c0rpse-br1de]

• pissing myself and having to stop on the motorway to squat down for a piss to avoid drenching my car seat
• raised squiggly white veins on my thighs
• having to consume 3 500ml cans of monster ultra daily to have the energy to be a functional human, and the ridiculous amount of money that entails
• giving myself refeeding syndrome on christmas
• binge paranoia
• almost falling asleep behind the wheel coming home from the club
• weird comments on my basket by supermarket staff
• food shopping every two days to restock monster ultra
• orange/brown spots on my index and middle fingers where i hold a cigarette from smoking too much (both hands)
• waiting for the shops to open at ass o’clock in the morning in december to make sure no one got to my safe foods (soya yoghurt, monster ultra, pot noodles) before i did
• having to wear a coat indoors
• dark marks on my ass from (what i assume to be) blood pooling due to shit circulation and spending 90% of my day sitting down (the other 10% i was lying down)
• having to take a nap before lunch because i couldn’t form sentenced thoughts by 11am after waking up at 5.30
• being so tired i was unable to sleep