[JessicaX]

I realised tonight that there is actually noone in real life I can talk too. I mean I knew it but I hadn't realised it properly.

My day was shitty, made worse by my anorexic lack of tolerance and tears.

I am a complaints manager and all day I have people screaming at me. Telling me I'm an ignorant c***, I must FO. I'm a moron. The company I work for expects us to take it and be polite. Fuck that. I'm argumentative and on a short fuse.

I had a terribly misogynistic asshole call in. He made me write down word for word his expectations. He made me read it back to him and he got angry when I didn't say open brackets close brackets. In the end it was like 4 pages a4 long. I was in tears and my manager kept telling me to stay on it. The customer could hear I was crying but kept on patronising and humiliating me.

I was supposed to finish at 4 but he kept me on till 7.

I'm angry I have to put up with it.

I'll probably get fired but at least that'll mean more time to binge.

On top of this the man upstairs has a 6 year old. He never ever takes the child out. Child runs and jumps and throws things on the floor. It is so loud and I can never relax. I cant hear for work and that flats my nerves even more.

Oh god. Rant over. I hope your day was better.

 

[Sahara1]

Im so sorry you had a bad day. Clocked your BMI in your signature and honestly, I can’t get my head around you even holding down a job, let alone one like this. Sending best wishes and love to you. Your job sounds awful, I wouldn’t cope well with that at all, sounds like you were/are incredibly patient and strong to me <3

 

[JessicaX]

Im so sorry you had a bad day. Clocked your BMI in your signature and honestly, I can’t get my head around you even holding down a job, let alone one like this. Sending best wishes and love to you. Your job sounds awful, I wouldn’t cope well with that at all, sounds like you were/are incredibly patient and strong to me <3

Thank you. It means a lot x

 

[MindOverFatter]

I definitely second what Sahara said. At your BMI, the fact that you're working at all is absolutely astounding. You're doing amazing.

I'm so sorry that you had such a rough day, you didn't deserve that. I hope you can find something relaxing and kind to do for yourself tonight, like a bubble bath, a good book, or a fun movie to watch. Get a good night's sleep, and I hope tomorrow will be much better for you.

You are not alone, we're all here for you on this site. Sending love, hugs, and positive thoughts your way. Feel free to chat here or pm me if you need someone to talk to.

<3

 

[musicalfailure]

Handling complaints sucks, I totally get it, getting out of customer service was an amazing freedom for that. And the noisy child upstairs- jesus I can't relate anymore right now!! We just moved into a new beautiful flat, no mold or weed or dodgy neighbours like the last flat, one small caveat though. The upstairs neighbours have TWO KIDS in an apartment building, they shouldn't even be off the ground floor. They run, jump, and bounce balls on my ceiling. It's SO LOUD. I get you 😞 Only been here a month and I'm making a plan to kill myself if it doesn't stop soon. Being autistic probably doesn't help but yeah.

I'm so sorry you're struggling and it's tough when it feels like there's no end in sight. Honestly though if it's any comfort at all I think you're doing really well considering what you have to deal with

 

[JessicaX]

Handling complaints sucks, I totally get it, getting out of customer service was an amazing freedom for that. And the noisy child upstairs- jesus I can't relate anymore right now!! We just moved into a new beautiful flat, no mold or weed or dodgy neighbours like the last flat, one small caveat though. The upstairs neighbours have TWO KIDS in an apartment building, they shouldn't even be off the ground floor. They run, jump, and bounce balls on my ceiling. It's SO LOUD. I get you 😞 Only been here a month and I'm making a plan to kill myself if it doesn't stop soon. Being autistic probably doesn't help but yeah.

I'm so sorry you're struggling and it's tough when it feels like there's no end in sight. Honestly though if it's any comfort at all I think you're doing really well considering what you have to deal with

I moved from my lovely 5 bed home which I owned for 22 years 90 miles away. I've had the same as you combined. When I moved in I had to buy a dehumidifier as water in the air was 90%. Walls were soaking with damp. I got so ill. I went down to 15kg.

The landlord has finished everything as cheaply as possible. Wet areas have one coat of magnolia so you can't clean them down without taking the paint off. A nightmare if u you are bulimic.

I get what you mean about killing yourself. I feel the same. Last week neighbours bought a young dog and leave it alone all day and it howls and yelps in distress. All day.

I confronted the parent yesterday after 6 months and it was terrible. I was so angry that when he said - he has to run around hes a child - i said - maybe take him to a park to let off some steam. He went mental at me. He also said i tell him to keep it down but he doesn't listen. I WANTED TO SAY - YOU ARE THE F** PARENT.

Oh god. I wrote an apology note to say I didnt mean to cause offence. He doesn't work at all and I'm thinking he is on dss.

Today its so loud again. I feel like killing myself.

 

[MindOverFatter]

Hey, how are you doing? Thinking of you.

 

[JessicaX]

Hey, how are you doing? Thinking of you.

Thank you. I'm anxious about tomorrow as if there is going to be fallout ill know then. I've eaten so much today. My stomach is fit to burst. X

 

[MindOverFatter]

Thank you. I'm anxious about tomorrow as if there is going to be fallout ill know then. I've eaten so much today. My stomach is fit to burst. X

You will be okay! It's a good thing that you ate more today, your body definitely needed it and deserve to eat. Hang in there! <3

 

[Winterfae]

That sounds awful I'm so sorry.

I cry when someone gets angry ay me so I cannot imagine the strength it took to stay on the call and power through that. I think your work should take a more active role in protecting their employees tbh, but I can't say I'd wish for you to stay in this job. Could you just hand in your notice rather than the prospect of being fired?

As above, I had no idea you were working, and it must take such a toll. I've been unemployed for mental health and ED for ages but my weight is pretty stable these days. It does give free time to binge, not the safest thing to be doing at extreme emaciated weights, but also time to rest, and it sounds like you really could use some more rest. I hope there's a way to get some time off at the very least, if not leave your job cause it sounds unbearable.

 

[JessicaX]

That sounds awful I'm so sorry.

I cry when someone gets angry ay me so I cannot imagine the strength it took to stay on the call and power through that. I think your ...

When I'm thin I have a very low tolerance. I'm not normally a crier. I am numb of emotions but lately I may be eating too much as yesterday I couldn't stop. And, this is going to sound awful, I managed some affection to Minnie the cat.

I have to work. I only have me to pay the bills. I sold my house as I couldn't afford it because of this frigging disorder.

How do you make ends meet if you don't work? I took 2 months off when I moved. I was between jobs. But I work from home. I couldn't work somewhere else as I am not very strong. Today I was dizzy all morning. I take a step or two then rest.

Are you still struggling with your mental health?

 

[zeroCalBrainFood]

I realised tonight that there is actually noone in real life I can talk too. I mean I knew it but I hadn't realised it properly.

My day was shitty, made worse by my anorexic lack of tolerance and tears.

I am a complaints manager and all day I have people screaming at me. Telling me I'm an ignorant c***, I must FO. I'm a moron. The company I work for expects us to take it and be polite. Fuck that. I'm argumentative and on a short fuse.

I had a terribly misogynistic asshole call in. He made me write down word for word his expectations. He made me read it back to him and he got angry when I didn't say open brackets close brackets. In the end it was like 4 pages a4 long. I was in tears and my manager kept telling me to stay on it. The customer could hear I was crying but kept on patronising and humiliating me.

I was supposed to finish at 4 but he kept me on till 7.

I'm angry I have to put up with it.

I'll probably get fired but at least that'll mean more time to binge.

On top of this the man upstairs has a 6 year old. He never ever takes the child out. Child runs and jumps and throws things on the floor. It is so loud and I can never relax. I cant hear for work and that flats my nerves even more.

Oh god. Rant over. I hope your day was better.

I'm so fucking sorry that you're forced to tolerate this level of abuse from people as part of your job. That is absolutely toxic and soul-crushing, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this kind of stress on top of everything else. I work in a very different field, but also am usually on the receiving end of unprofessional and verbally abusive behavior, and it takes a fucking chunk out of you every time you have to mentally prepare yourself to go into work. I can't even imagine how exhausted and defeated you must feel, especially on a Sunday. From one ed girlie in a stressful job to another, sending you love and support as you get through this bullshit ❤

 

[JessicaX]

I'm so fucking sorry that you're forced to tolerate this level of abuse from people as part of your job. That is absolutely toxic and soul-crushing, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this kind of stress on top of everything else. I work in a very different field, but also am usually on the receiving end of unprofessional and verbally abusive behavior, and it takes a fucking chunk out of you every time you have to mentally prepare yourself to go into work. I can't even imagine how exhausted and defeated you must feel, especially on a Sunday. From one ed girlie in a stressful job to another, sending you love and support as you get through this bullshit ❤

Thank you so much for your reply. On one hand, Its so comforting that you know what its like, on the other I'm sorry you too have to deal with despicable people. I said to my boss - there seems to be no concern for staff. She was listening in and kept telling me to go on despite me sobbing. If they do fire me it'll be a relief but then I'll have the stress of finding another job. .

Woman can be vicious but they rarely demean you. Misogynistic men are the worst. They like to humiliate. Give me the swearers every time.

I'm not sure the anorexic temperament is suited to a complaints role.

But what will get me fired is that I often fight back and seem unable to remain passive.

 

[zeroCalBrainFood]

Woman can be vicious but they rarely demean you. Misogynistic men are the worst. They like to humiliate. Give me the swearers every time.

a-fucking-men to that. My main work issue right now is making my peace with the fact that my primary mentor is one of those misogynistic men who gets off on making younger women feel small. I'd rather lay on hot coals for work than go in every day questioning whether I'm smart enough or competent enough to even consider opening up my mouth to speak. I'm almost finished with my Ph.D., and this man is making me seriously consider dropping out of my degree and my research career. And I'm at a major, highly competitive research institution that I worked my ass off to get into lmfao

 

[JessicaX]

a-fucking-men to that. My main work issue right now is making my peace with the fact that my primary mentor is one of those misogynistic men who gets off on making younger women feel small. I'd rather lay on hot coals for work than go in every day questioning whether I'm smart enough or competent enough to even consider opening up my mouth to speak. I'm almost finished with my Ph.D., and this man is making me seriously consider dropping out of my degree and my research career. And I'm at a major, highly competitive research institution that I worked my ass off to get into lmfao

What an asshole. Don't give up your studies. He is not worth it and he would get satisfaction. How much time left on studies?

 

[zeroCalBrainFood]

Thank you, my love. It's so hard because he's the "expert" and I'm the trainee who is supposed to be learning from him. When we conflict and I try to justify why what I believe is correct, he easily talks out of my idea because I just don't have as much experience and I assume he knows so much more than me. I don't want to be one of those people who always has to be right, but this passive acceptance of constant criticism has wrecked my self-esteem and isn't the way either. It's been a challenging situation to navigate on an interpersonal level.

I probably have 1-2 years left of my degree before I can graduate and move on to another lab, hopefully one where my mentor is more compassionate. I can do this--I've battled far worse than an insecure man.

 

[MindOverFatter]

Hope today went better for you. <3

 

[JessicaX]

I probably have 1-2 years left of my degree before I can graduate and move on to another lab, hopefully one where my mentor is more compassionate. I can do this--I've battled far worse than an insecure man.

You can absolutely do this. I always think that the struggle with what we do to ourselves with our eating disorder is far worse than others can inflict on us. Just such a shame that this asshole is putting a damper on this exciting time in your life. To be honest, I'm jealous. Lol. You are at the threshold of a promising career with your life ahead of you. Don't let the asshole or anorexia hold you back xxx

 

[JessicaX]

Hope today went better for you. <3

Yes. Thank you. I had my 121 with my team manager and it went well. He called me first thing to check if I was OK as the other manager told him about it.

BUT I was furious. The other manager sent me a mandatory training module on safeguarding customers. WHAT? It is the wrong way around. They take no accountability for their responsibility. Thank you for asking xxxx

 

[MindOverFatter]

Yes. Thank you. I had my 121 with my team manager and it went well. He called me first thing to check if I was OK as the other manager told him about it.

BUT I was furious. The other manager sent me a mandatory training module on safeguarding customers. WHAT? It is the wrong way around. They take no accountability for their responsibility. Thank you for asking xxxx

I'm glad things went well with your team manager, but sorry things were tougher with your other manager. )-: Hang in there! <3