Eating Disorder Support Forum banner
  • This website may include conversations, media, and content around topics relating to eating disorders, trauma, addiction, and mental health. Please be aware that this content may be upsetting, difficult, or triggering for some. EDSF is intended as a place of safety. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, Feast-ED.org is a resource that lists the organizations set up to help.

mikaw stuff thread ... (ft pics, stats, etc)

6K views 179 replies 3 participants last post by  mikaw 
#1 · (Edited)
half accountability, half an ed stuff dump in general..i cant talk about any of this in many places so this is my best bet for just spamming my thoughts outside of my parasite diet thread hehehe. come in, come listen, come read, idk how long thisll last but ive had the idea for this thread since forever so! stop by and have a look!

as of the start of this thread im:
  • 160cm
  • 55.8kg
  • bmi 21.8
with a current main gw of 50kg

edit 1: rip parasite thread..stars die
edit 2: FORGOT TO ADD feel free to come chat here if anything looks particularly interesting or i happen to say something that activates your neurons
 
#2 ·
first post: im 55.8kg today, officially bmi 21.8! im so glad im out of 22 even though it barely makes a difference. at least im doing something eh?

todays gonna be chill i think, im gonna help make a bunch of courses for a family dinner thing and while im a bit anxious im also excited
 
#3 ·
also also ! since ive been losing weight again for some reason i swear my adams apple is more visible and im honestly not mad about it. i usually dont think about it but it looks kinda cool with my chokers lmao
 
#4 ·
i keep being more and more tempted to just grab a handful of nuts from the jar or pick up a bonbon or something and im just...NO i cant do it im doing the parasite thing but i keep wanting to break my plan but i cant
 
#10 ·
updates btw:

firstly im 56.2 kg and im so fucking mad actually. that means im basically the same i was last week fml

iiiiii dont think ill lose much if any weight today bc of what my meal for dinner was GAAAAAAH

but i did get a new pod so thats good at least. mango flavoured cos im very normal
 
#11 ·
im gonna do a bunch of calculations for my weight loss bc i need the calming effect of it and writing down all the numbers and screenshotting all the plans and putting it all together
 
#14 ·
ive gotta say i feel kinda weak and i cant stop thinking about food and eating and etc ... i wanna b/p really bad. im already trying to rationalise it to myself and work out a plan for it in my head but im so .. i cant. i cannot. its not in my rules im not supposed to do this but i want to so bad
 
#17 ·
ive already hoarded some food .. at this point its less like "im not supposed to be doing this i shouldnt do this" and more like "im doing this i dont care anymore". im gonna write my accountability post and then hoard more and go to my room and do my thing
 
#19 ·
i LOVELOVELOOOOOVE people who type in like specific colours here all the time like youre posting in turquoise??? absolutely fucking incredible keep going im honestly so !!!! i wanna post in a colour but whenever id go on my phone i wouldnt be able to .. so it stays in the accountability threads
 
#20 ·
purged for about 50mins, i think i at least got most of it up but im so stoned i can barely tell. im 56.3kg which is up .4kg from this morning and im asking myself like, can i live with this? will i be able to live with this? if i saw that number on the scales tomorrow id be so disappointed but currently im rationalising it. ill lose it back overnight right? i didnt get up any of my dinner, the last of what i threw up was water/little snippers of chocolate/bile(?) and im so tired and it was so miserable. it was so hard to purge and i dont even know why, i kept coughing/choking and was super loud, maybe its because i havent done it regularly for so long. either way im gonna smoke and go to bed i think. idek im so disappointed but its whatever .. i guess. at least i had fun for a bit??
 
#21 ·
i just hope tomorrow will fix me. i know itll just be more food and thats just more weight and all that bullshit but im too tired to really care, im writing on autopilot even .. idk. i just wanna be happy. i kept thinking about how i was so happy this time in 2020 when i was more "normal" and now im doing this? even last year was bearable. im gonna get less than 6h of sleep im not excited lollll
 
#23 ·
hiiiii heres some stuff

  • my guitarist friend is so thin im so envious of him. he complained abt having thick thighs for a dude and i relate so hard but hes still so much thinner than me AND hes got a gf AND hes better than me at guitar. i need to be 48kg for real i think thats about what he weighs..50kg max. this is so sick of me im sorry
  • does vape juice break a dry fast .. re:parasite thread, im 18h in if you dont count vape juice
  • ive slammed out so much writing into my notes app + 11kb on my laptop today im going insane
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top