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logical brain vs ED brain rant

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579 views 2 replies 3 participants last post by  Chocolatemono  
#1 ·
it’s such a fucking struggle being a logical, regular person that just happens to have anorexia twisting about my brain. like, I know about CICO, I calculate my tdee/bmr for any given day, do all the research I can….. & still freak the fuck out when I have water/food weight, or have to double, triple, quadruple check the calories in my food with like 4 different sources. I know it’s 30 calories but I log it as 40 to be safe. “Safe” from what?! My own brain! fuck sake

“gained” 1.2kg in 3 days
Logical brain says: I’ve literally not drank water, haven’t shit & have been eating salty stuff for 3 days, still restricting but I feel like I’m bingeing, but I’m not bingeing, it’s fine.
ED brain says: im rapidly gaining & I can feel the fat wrapping around my thighs & stomach & i’m going to be a kilo heavier tomorrow, then the next day 1kg, & the next.. until I’m so obese that I don’t recognise myself
 
#3 ·
The logical part of your brain is always shadowed and overtaken by anorexia. When it comes to eating disorders, logic does not apply to its mechanisms. It's more like a compulsion, or an obsession- your little rituals that you have to do or your world will fall apart- take over the voice of reason that knows they're unnecessary.

That voice is still there but it feels like it's constantly arguing against your ED voice. In recovery, we're taught to stop giving that voice power- because for a lot of people it's impossible to wish it away. It will always be a part of most of us- but you don't need to act on it.

Ask yourself: what's the worst thing that could happen if my calorie estimates were off by %2? Nothing at all. You'll probably still lose at the same pace- because the difference is so negligible. Calories are not that accurate anyway, they're legally allowed to have an error margin of %15. If you're eating less than you burn that's all what matters in the long run. Hear me out. Say that there are two people who lose 50 lbs and maintain. One of them did it in a year and one of them did it in 3 months. A year after that, both of them would be the same weight and it wouldn't matter how fast or slow they lost the weight as long as it's kept off.
 
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