[80sfilms]

Hi! I hope this isn't too triggering or anything, but I was wondering how everyone got to the weight they are now/highest weight.

For me, it's basically not knowing about calories (not tracking them, no sense of the amount that is in certain foods) and making a loooot of excuses to just eat whatever I want. For example, when I had a long day at work I would come home and think to myself, it has been a hard day, I deserve to eat some pizza and ice cream. But then, every day there was another excuse. Also I never really focused too much on my weight and try to justify being fat by thinking you don't need to be thin to be pretty. This was all pretty much before my ED started (although I didn't have a great relationship with food to begin with)

Realizing how I got to this place helps me with keeping myself on track, so I'm curious about your stories!

(First topic I made so if this isn't something that should be discussed please let me know)

 

[maddyhenry]

for me, it was by choosing recovery. i definitely encourage ppl to recover or at least give it a try but all it has brought me was weight gain and bed. i used to only restrict and i was good at it. it was easy. and now i binge all the time. it is this uncontrollab need to keep constantly eating. and that’s how i’ve gained 30 pounds in 3 months. i fight the urge everyday. it is miserable

 

[tcbiwws]

That was a few months ago, but basically after fasting for 30 days, I decided to 'heal my relationship with food', but instead of healing, I just stuffed myself because I was so deprived!!! I gained all my fasting weight back and more while telling myself I was recovering. When, in truth, I knew all along that once I felt too fat I would slip back into purging and resticting anyways.

 

[snowkongxueer]

Eating dark chocolate, 2 or more giant sweet potatoes, lots of oatmeal drowned in honey and fruit, and a half block of cheese every day for breakfast and then lots of meat and starches( brown rice. beans, etc.) for dinner. I went from 41 to 47kg in a month. Proof that you can get fat without eating junk food.

 

[anonmouse]

"sturdy" as a child, chubby going into puberty and then overweight. Hating what I looked like causing yoyo dieting that made me always slighty fatter than before leading to a hw of 166

 

[Maxy Relaxie]

My main reason was because I was put on anti-psychotics for my schizophrenia and because of it, I had extreme weight gain. Let me say, going from being anorexic and put on a high intensity diet to gain weight to extremely overweight killed me. I'm working now to get rid of all that fat, because in 2019 I lost a bunch of weight and was actually healthy... then gained it back again. Trying to get back on track, but it's definitely harder than some people think.

 

[greyhoundsnout]

I was underweight and was purging everything for about five years. Hit rock bottom and decided to recover. Five years of starvation made my body want to eat everything in sight. Went from anorexic/bulimic to binge/bulimic. Now it's the same song and dance for a few years now, lose weight, go crazy and gain it back.

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[ithim_gach_rud]

A supportive husband who tells me I'm beautiful no matter how much I weigh. When I'm at a "normal" weight, I restrict and exercise more to compensate for my binging. In college and after getting married (my two highest weight periods), I compensated less but kept binging. I'm trying to work through my binging right now, and I'm hoping the compensating behaviors can be made just regular healthy nutrition and exercise after that.

 

[magicalForestFairies]

Childhood obesity: by the time I was 11 I was morbidly obese, too depressed to leave the house, and my family ate Mcdonald's EVERY day. It was during a horrible time and during puberty, so it all kind of happened without me even being aware that I was gaining a hundred+ pounds : (

I did then lose quite a lot of it, but in lockdown I've managed to revert back to my agoraphobic middle school self and gained it all back...

 

[ForOblivion]

getting friends and binge drinking after work then eating taco bell and dominos like every. single. night. Because I was finally happy and didn't care anymore

 

[hauntao]

I stopped purging after years and years of being bulimic. The binging part of my b/ping stayed, but that's what I'm working on now. I'd rather be fat and where I am now mentally though than where I was mentally at my LW. I was far more miserable.

 

[cassie ainsworth]

while in recovery from anorexia b/p, i triggered my BED again. i kept lying to myself for YEARS and said that i was "in recovery" but really, i had just traded one ED for another. and most people (polite ones anyway) don't really comment when you gain weight as much as when you lose it, in my experience. i was still getting tons of compliments. had a bunch of muscle. so i kind of just kept gaining weight and pretending everything was fine, until eventually i hit the obese bmi category. now i'm doing high restriction for the first time as i'm hoping it won't trigger my bingeing again. i'm so drained from the constant weight fluctuations. but i do agree with hauntao. ^^ i was far more miserable at my LW than even at my HW and i never want to go back to that.

 

[Kat_grace]

Graduated Highschool and started my first semester of college.
Followed by my boyfriend (at the time) cheating on me.

My longest fast was that week- 5.5 days

 

[akilemon]

Bad eating habits from my childhood. I was always the chubby kid. My mom was pretty good at giving us healthy meals when we could afford them. However, after my parents divorced, going to my dad's was always filled with junk food. He hated taking care of us and cooking, so we'd fill up on chips, toast, frozen meals, Little Debbie cakes, etc. And at the same time he was super abusive in pretty much every way you can be, including making fun of my weight and making fun of me whenever I'd eat, despite never providing us anything healthy.

Surprise, surprise, this started disordered habits for me. When I refused to visit him anymore around age 16, I started a heavy restriction phase. My best friend at the time was battling anorexia and definitely encouraged it. I got down to an almost healthy weight in a really short period of time and then my mental health collapsed. I binged constantly up until about a year ago. I ate my way up to 215 lbs, putting me at a BMI of 32. I know that isn't as bad as some, but I felt awful.

I tried to start eating healthy about a year ago and it kicked disordered habits up again. Ugh. My therapist just diagnosed me recently with EDNOS (I think it's actually called OSFED now but I hate that term) and it's nothing that I didn't already know lmao.

 

[wastedcase]

I stopped purging and kept bingeing. I was bingeing everyday for like a year I would say.

 

[Tree Cookie]

The super fun adventure that has been tragedy after tragedy after fucking tragedy over the past few years. I have lost so many loved ones, in 2020 especially, that I honestly don't know how I'm still standing. Or still alive, really. I'm a shell of the person I used to be, and I'll never have that person back - so I guess that's another loss.

Throughout the past year I've been swinging wildly through long phases of being entirely unable to eat due to grief, and comfort eating thousands of calories in a sitting. So now here I am, obese and so shattered that I don't think I'm physically capable of feeling emotions anymore. I've suppressed so much that I'm gradually losing my ability to retain memories at all, lol

Good times!

 

[astrotea]

Simply by eating too much. Binging and emotional eating~

 

[tyskinny]

not weighing myself. as if me not tracking makes me weigh any less. out of sight, out of mind

 

[Amiral]

Yoyoing, convincing myself i understand CICO while not counting calories/underestimating and not excersising to actually get to the "calories out" part of it.

Ive realized it needs to be part of my lifestyle for me, it doesnt work with only "wanting to be skinny" as a reason i guess.

 

[Indecisive45]

First time- basically convinced myself I have a problem which made it impossible for me to lose weight, and which i did but it wasn't IMPOSSIBLE , gave up and ate whatever the fuck i wanted whenever i wanted however much i wanted

This time- full blown BED

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