I sometimes feel like I am faking it to.. Especially when I'm on a binge.. Right now I'm following my own "diet" ( https://mytripptoskinny.wordpress.com/diets/) and it's working very well.

it makes me not go on binges that often as before . It starts with really high calorie intake, but it goes down and up every day, and after two weeks it goes lower..

But when it's really high I feel so bad..

 

I feel like the biggest fake too. I eat around 1,000 cals every day to help me not binge cause I found that the more I restrict, the more likely/often i binged and it was super counter productive. I also hate that I am not able to be labeled as anorexic or bulimic because people actually know what those are. When I mentioned EDNOS to someone once, they were like WTF is that???

 

I restrict to 800-1000 also, but I've just learned that that is what works for me not to binge. I see people on here fasting and restricting to 200 calories and think to myself, "I'd rather be eating what I'm eating than binge as often as they probably are."

 

Ah Thats fair enough

Im so frustrated that I am so obsessed with food, and either hungry, or ridiculously full or the time, and that I'm a normal weight (also I feel ginormous!)

Fed up. Want to be thin and uninterested in food!

 

I hang around 800-1000 depending on the day, and I totally feel fake about it. Just dumb thoughts like "why can't you do less" or "why aren't you strong enough to do less" and I for the most part can ignore those because that low is incredibly hard for me if not impossible in my life and 800 feels right to me. It's low enough but high enough that I'm not food crazed and I can eat something decent in front of others if I have to. I mean I prefer it lower of course and if it happens that's great but its just a matter of ignoring those thoughts that will probably lead to me eating macaroni and cheese out of the pot while nobody is looking.

 

totally not fake. i once knew a girl irl, she was diagnosed with anorexia, and she told me "this is dumb, i can't be anorexic, i eat at least two things a day"

 

I restrict to 800-1000 also, but I've just learned that that is what works for me not to binge. I see people on here fasting and restricting to 200 calories and think to myself, "I'd rather be eating what I'm eating than binge as often as they probably are."

This. 100% this.

I also know what binging does to my head. The shame, the guilt, the horror. All of it. it turns me into a disgusting person, and not actually because of the food. It just messes with my head.

I'd much rather be 'half' restricting and ward off the binges than be at 200 calories a day and have a breakdown every week day.

 

This. 100% this.

I also know what binging does to my head. The shame, the guilt, the horror. All of it. it turns me into a disgusting person, and not actually because of the food. It just messes with my head.

I'd much rather be 'half' restricting and ward off the binges than be at 200 calories a day and have a breakdown every week day.

Totally agree. It messes me up mentally for days afterward, and I just can't have that in my life.

 

I just feel like such a failure for not being able to fast! I've only fasted for 2 days in my entire life and I feel like a real real failure because of it

Ive done loads of monos though, I'm trying to convince myself that its ok to not eat NOTHING all day :/ I have a health condition which gets messed up by it.

But I'm also weak

 

It's not what you do that identifies an eating disorder, it's the way you think

 

Why does it even matter if you actually have a legit eating disorder or not though? Either way it's not healthy. I don't have an eating disorder, but I know it's not healthy to be this obsessed with calories and losing weight and eating around 1,000 calories a day.

 

I guess the way I look at it is if you're thin and you still think you're fat, then you probably have an eating disorder. The difference with me is I know I'm skinny, even though I'm not model skinny. And I feel like there's a point where I will stop dieting and be happy with my body. But if you have a mental illness you might never be happy with your body.

 

I feel the s name, I don't restrict that bad and I feel like i'm not legitimate on here too

 

it matters cause even though (and i know I'm not the only one who thinks like this) i don't want an eating disorder, a very very sick (and i guess its the eating disorder talking here) part of me actually wants to 'keep' my eating disorder and not get better.

Like.. at the end of the day I KNOW I must have some sort of eating disorder because I am wrecking my body and am being completely illogical and obsessive. But the feeling of feeling like I think I have an eating disorder, and then don't actually fast is just horrible :/

 

I guess the way I look at it is if you're thin and you still think you're fat, then you probably have an eating disorder. The difference with me is I know I'm skinny, even though I'm not model skinny. And I feel like there's a point where I will stop dieting and be happy with my body. But if you have a mental illness you might never be happy with your body.

I'm glad that you know when to stop. I'm sorry that you have disordered eating, but I am glad you don't think you have an eating disorder

Saying that, you can know your thin and still have an eating disorder. You will always have people to talk to on here if you need them!

 

I went from 300 kcal to 100 and refuse to eat anything but fruits and vegetables and I still feel like I'm a faker

 

800 calories a day, even with some higher days, still isn't normal.

 

so its our silly brains then

 

I've just realised I said on here 'I usually have 800 and I've had to up my take to 1200 a day'

And i've just realised that I just haven't done that! I've been eating between 400 and 800, purging anything that isn't on the calorie limit for that day (because I have a habit of binging) and then only actually had 1 proper binge this week which I purged the entire lot..

Ok.. I think we have established that we can't trust our own heads!!

 

I feel fake because my blood pressure and other medical stats all are totally normal. I'm seriously so disappointed in myself even tho I know how awful it is to be out of whack medically like that.