I’ve never said it out loud either LOL. Even when I got diagnosed with it I’ve never said “I’m anorexic” idk what it is

 

I've gotten more desensitised to the word after 7 years, but this totally reminds me of myself in the beginning. I refused to even question whether anything was wrong with me, because it was making me so goddamn happy. It's like throwing the veil off of what I thought was my only friend, revealing something horrific, deadly and insidious. I do kind of wish I never admitted to it and broke that illusion. My ED still feels more comforting than any other coping mechanism, but before the word 'anorexia' became so familiar to me, ts was like a drug. It was so innocent, before it wasn't.

 

I don't like saying it because I feel like talking about it means confessing to my own disordered eating lol. I don't want to seem weird about it but then again, I don't think they'd ever be able to tell I have those tendencies bc I look "healthy" unfortunately

 

idk I am pretty desensitized as well but also at the same time never really say it out loud. I just say I am weird about food and things like that..

 

I do avoid saying words like anorexia and fat, sorta like there's a stigma around them. Though that could also be because I spent my first few years with an eating disorder trying to hide it, so I tried not to let people know that I cared about weight at all.

 

I get that.. My first probably 10 years I hid it, or at least thought I was hiding it...

 

Yeah. I've never felt comfortable saying it either

 

don’t feel comfortable mentioning it but i have on the rare occasions i’ve opened up with people about my ed saying “i had anorexia/used to be anorexic” but never in present tense. i don’t think it’s a word people would use to describe me and i certainly don’t feel like it applies to me despite my weight bc my behaviours are not as bad as they used to be. it’s kinda like something people should say when talking about me as opposed to labelling myself if that makes sense? it’s like if you ask your partner to buy flowers and then they do, but they do it because you asked them to not because they wanted to do it? kinda same concept.

 

It’s actually funny because I say anorexie (scientific name of AN in german basically) A LOT because the societal german word for anorexia is “magersucht” which means “addiction of emaciation” and I hate, hate, hate the word.
Usually I just talk about ED in general but if referring to AN I always say anorexia cuz it’s so much smoother and less harsh then magersucht ahah

 

This is so true omg like I have no problem saying Essstörung (eating disorder) or Anorexie but Magersucht is such a dumb word and I refuse to use it like? Way to entirely miss the point of the disorder lmao

 

I feel very uncomfortable saying it out loud, I've only had to a few times but I also got scolded at by my parents for saying that that's what I might have because I "am only on the route to becoming anorexic" apparently.

 

Yeah, I’m more comfortable just saying eating disorder but even then I don’t really like to speak about it, I’m the same way with my autism, I don’t like saying I have autism, I usually say I’m on the spectrum to soften it a bit because I feel like people start to treat me different if I use anorexia or autism

 

I agree!
Anorexia feels really harsh and jarring.. so I say eating disorder. Feels less serious and I feel less fake

 

I don’t use it when referring to myself. Although now that I think about it, I guess I don’t really use it ever. But I go out of my way to avoid referring to it as a diagnosis I’ve had. Half the time I don’t even say “eating disorder” unless I’m being very obviously sarcastic about it in therapy. Thankfully my therapist meets me where I’m at and doesn’t name it unless I do.

 

🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

i always say "eating disorder" never "anorexia"

 

yes. idk if its ever even left my mouth tbh it feels like a curse ill bestow on someone else if i mention it 😳

 

I do say it, but I avoid the word like the plague with my family. They know I have anorexia and have lived with my illness for years but none of us want to say that word. We'll just usually refer to it as "my illness" or "you know" or - if absolutely necessary - "the eating disorder" spoken in a hushed tone

 

Ah yes just like Voldemort

 

"The Food Stuff™"

 

I really appreciate this question because yeah, I find it so hard to say out loud and only ever do in a sort of joking way and then immediately die inside and regret it

 

here's a list of things that doctors and parents have said to me instead of anorexia (despite the fact that that is my diagnosis and it's all over my medical records)

• problems with nutrition
• the eating thing
• eating problems
• eating disorder (this ones getting into dangerous territory lol)
• behaviors

anyway...
it does mess with me a lot. like 'oh it's not that bad, obviously cause they didn't say anything about it' or something. like i'm not. it's a lie. nope nope nopeeeee
my dad said the a word yesterday though

 

I don't view myself as ED'ed, and calling myself anorexic in real life would mean people would think I'm mentally ill. I don't see myself as mentally ill. I see my relationship with food/body/exercise as a lifestyle. I post in the anorexia forum yes, because here are people who are tons and tons more likely to relate to me and for me to relate to them than any other place I've found so far. I get so mad when people tell me I would have anorexia in real life, so, so mad. It's as if they're stripping away my right to exist it feels like. (note: I don't apply this logic to anyone but me and I have no bad feelings about anyone who has anorexia/an ED - I don't know how to phrase this otherwise but please lmk if I phrased it badly and I'll delete/try to rewrite)

 

Yes, it’s the forbidden word. Feels wrong coming out of my mouth.

 

Used to not be able to, nor suicide, depression, cutting, self harm or rape. But - gonna sound super old now - sort of just grew out of it in early thirties because it's a huge inconvenience in daily language and so long as the conversation isn't personal it's not an issue any more. It feels wrong and weird at first but getting used to the words being used in an impersonal sense helped.

Edit: having said that often (but depends) still prefer to avoid discussions, news, media etc. using those words. Depends what the context is though.

 

I've never said it or even said 'eating disorder'... only ever typed it on here! Growing up it wasn't an issue, but since my diagnosis it feels like a dirty word to me so don't think I'll ever verbally say the words anorexia or eating disorder.

 

I always just say “disordered eating” or “eating disorder stuff,” “E.D.” or “my issues with food” lmao but I rarely talk about it, except occasionally in therapy

 

Yup

 

Omg I thought I was the only one 😭 since being diagnosed, my parents say it all the time and it feels so wrong to hear it. Maybe because I spent so long trying to avoid being found out that any talk about eating disorders feels like dangerous territory. Idk same with bulimia or self harm I just can't say jt.