I binged 1200 calories last night at red lobster ⚰ (5 yr anniversary)

I got on the scale this morning and gained.
I'm trying to figure out how to deal with the binge guilt too. Maybe try having a lighter lunch or dinner. Go for a walk after school. You might feel miserable now, but later when the bloating goes away, you'll feel better.

 

Nope. Do not throw up. Purging makes you feel like garbage and doesn't get rid of hardly anything. For real, multiple studies have shown people are only able to purge about 30% of calories consumed. So for a 500 calorie meal, you be looking at only getting 150 or so maximum. And if it's been more than 20 minutes since eating it'll be significantly less than that.
Much better options are going for a walk a few times over the next few days, or just ignoring it. Its not going to hurt you or change your weight.
I hope you're feeling better.

 

most of us binge dw, i feel so bad when i do, been so tempted to purge lately. what i find best for me is to get myself a cup of herbal tea or drink alot of water, that makes me feel better. and if u feel up to it go for a walk or exercise and eat better the next day.

 

do not purge. if you really want to restrict either have a light lunch/dinner, or skip both

 

I can’t skip dinner cause my mom watches me then. I can skip lunch though but I doubt that will help. I don’t even get to pick what I have for dinner tho and my family eats so unhealthy

 

I feel like most people say that about their parents cooking. That it's unhealthy. If you were to tell them you don't want to eat unhealthy stuff, would they adjust their cooking?

 

No because I’ve asked them before and they called me selfish and said not everything’s about me and that they shouldn’t have to change their eating habits because I can’t be “normal”

 

no, don’t purge, it’s not worth it in the end, be kind to yourself and take care ((((Big Hugs)))

 

no, don't purge. it will make you binge more food, more often. realistically, 500 cals isn't that much food. to put it into scale, my last b/p was 4500 cals. don't start purging.

 

It's not at all selfish to want a healthy dinner. I'm sorry 😔
Perhaps you can eat a smaller portion of it and add a side of fresh fruit/veggies

 

I definitely wouldn’t be allowed to. My mom wants me to eat “normal” like the rest of the family. And I get that my parents just want the best for me but the way they talk about and handle my ED is just wrong sometimes. They say i should “just eat” and gain the weight instead of putting THEM through all the stress. They said it’s okay to make jokes and laugh about it because in a way “they have to deal with anorexia to by monitoring what I eat”. My brother started teasing me and saying “haha anorexic girl! Well at least I’m not anorexic” and anytime anything happens to me they say “it’s because your too skinny”. It’s so stressful too. They weigh me everyday, track my calories and always ask me every single meal I eat “well how many calories is in that?”

 

500 is definitely a salvageable amount. You haven’t ruined your day at all with that, and there’s no problem if you don’t repeat it later. If it were me, I would trade lunch for a walk and have a very light dinner - maybe some vegetables, tuna, etc. Either way, don’t feel bad. It could definitely be worse and if nothing else, I hope breakfast was yummy.

 

Ignore your brother, they're meant to instigate. Your parents do those things, like weighing you and trying to get you to eat higher calorie foods because they care about you. They just aren't doing it in the best way. If they know about your ED, id just explain to them that unhealthy dinners make you feel worse and you would feel physically and mentally better if it were healthy.

 

Thanks I guess for right. Maybe I’ll just try to talk to them about it in a nicer way and hopefully they’ll understand. I just don’t want to recover though. Im scared of losing who I am, of not recognizing myself anymore and losing all my progress. But they want me to gain weight. And that’s my biggest fear

 

I hear you. I don't want to recover either. I'm making progress getting to my goal weight, and once I do, I'm hanging on to it for dear life and not letting it go for anything. Because if I gain the weight back, even a pound, the suicidal thoughts will haunt me. So I'd be a hypocrite to tell you it's okay to gain weight. Hopefully the talk goes well. I don't know if this is terrible advice, but you could always tell them that healthier dinners will help you "recover" since you won't feel guilty about eating it.

 

That’s true. I just wish I didn’t have to eat dinner at all I wish I could get away with OMAD or something

 

You could try intermittent fasting and save most of the calories for dinner. I don't know if it's sustainable for long term, but it's what I'm trying to do for as long as I can. On day 3.

 

maybe you could tell them that the way they are treating you is hurting your ability to recover? like if they actually want you to get better they should be a little more understanding and realize that them telling you to "just eat" or criticizing your eating habits is hurting your recovery . an eating disorder is a mental illness . you can't "just eat" just like how some one who is suffering from depression can't just "be happy"

 

it's a long shot but i would also ask them to stop weighing you. i really hate it when people trying to "help" put so much emphasis on numbers . to me that is like mental torture because you are forcing someone who looks at calories and weight to go beyond what is comfortable and at the same time trying to make them care less about it. that's ass backwards to me.

 

Yeah but my therapist recommended that to her to make sure I’m not losing weight still. Like they are making me calculate my calories and tell them how much I ate to make sure I gain. I think it’s messed up too honestly. Isn’t that the opposite of what I should be doing? It’s just making me feel worse and I have asked but mom said “it’s either this or the hospital”

 

maybe you could tell them that you're not feeling well or your stomach hurts so you don't have to eat dinner? or maybe you could say you're going to a friends house, or are gonna go to the library, then you wouldn't have to eat their unhealthy dinner and eat something safer instead?

i'm sorry you're parents are being so shitty about your ed. It's awful how all their pointing at is the food aspect, making the actual mental aspect even worse.

 

I couldn’t get away with saying “my stomach hurts” around them. They would get more sus of me and trust me less if I said that

 

holy shit i wrote an essay. sorry about that LOL

 

Thank you. They do care I just wish it wasn’t so much about the number rather than my mental health. With having to eat more it’s made a lot of emotions come back and being judged for having anxiety makes it sooooo much worse.

 

Regular therapists should not be trying to give advice on an ED. Also, not all therapists are good. You (parents) need to "shop" for one that fits right. I've been to some therapist that just graduated and were brand new in the field with zero experience. One therapist actually told me she took it up as a hobby, rather than a meaningful career. She sucked. Another cursed at me.

I'd say tell your therapist about what you told us, how doing that stuff makes it worse (they obviously don't know because they're not trained for that) Also about wanting to eat healthy dinner. (How can anyone deem that to being harmful??!!)

Hopefully your therapist will understand and tell your parents to lay off with that stuff. Good luck 🙂

 

oh! also i would make it a point that how much you eat of that meal should not be judged. cause i know what could end up happening is they go "hey we made a deal ! you must finish everything!" no thats bad. this isnt a business contract so it shouldnt be treated that way. the goal should be to make you feel comfortable..i can understand why there is frustration....here is one more thing though.you are very young and i know its extremely tough to be your age and not feel anxious about your size/intake . i developed my ed around your age actually..however you are still growing so please at least try to make sure you get all your food groups in!

 

I binges about 900cal last night today I'm fasting and working out to make up for the binge