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Ooof this is SUCH a big mood. I'm sorry you've got to deal with it *gentle hugs*how covid-19 is affecting my eating disorder
just so no one gets it confused, i don't have coronavirus.
i am a seventeen year old girl with ednos. i live in the southeastern region of the US. there are 29 cases in my state as of this week. and this damn virus is driving me crazy.
so a third of the globe says the virus is overhyped, and another third of the globe is terrified. i am a part of the last third who doesn't know what to think. of course i am concerned by all of the deaths and the rate of contagion and such. but i have no idea whether to expect to get it or not. i have no idea whether i can laugh at a meme or not.
you know how everyone is stocking up on bleach and masks and hand sanitizer and, of course, toilet paper? you know how the stock market is at a great low right now because of families afraid of quarantine? welp, my parents stocked up on rubbing alcohol, ibuprofen, and... junk food.
not healthy food. no healthy food at all. i looked in the pantry and here is a shortened list of things i saw they had bought today:
peanut butter ding dongs (haha yes ding dongs lol yes)
fudge rounds
double chocolate muffin mix
blueberry muffin mix
two different kinds of very cheesy hamburger helper
two boxes of shell pasta
sooooo... binge food. but the problem is, i don't purge... um... orally. you can't guarantee anything with laxatives, and purging via fasting will be next to impossible right now because A: i will be stuck at home with family if school closes and they will notice if i eat nothing, B: my period is supposed to be within the next week (sorry for the tmi), and C: all of my most tempting binge food is right in front of me.
so i guess you could say i'm scared about the coronavirus. but not in the way you'd think.
i'm not scared i will get it or die or anything like that. i'm scared that my family's excursion at the grocery store will be the death of any progress i could have made during this time.
I also primarily purge with laxatives but the shortage of toilet paper in my area has me panicking, especially because now there's that added guilt with every purge that I'm using up what is inexplicably a limited resource -_-