So today I was shopping my usual bulimia stuff. and I do it without shame or thinking what others think of me (binge food - tons of candies, milk and cereals, and isotonic drink and magnesium water).
I never get asked if I'm going to eat that all alone, but if I did, I'd have no shame in saying that I eat it all. And this cashier didn't ask me that, but as the store was nearly empty, she carefully said to me "honey, are you bulimic?" (in those exact words but in my language, I can't get "triggered" or whatever so i didn't mind her asking me) and as I saw the sad look on her face I knew she will know if I lied, so I asked:
"how did you know?"
and she answered: "I had a nephew, a bit younger than you I think, you are 20, right? anyway, he was buying the exact same drinks as you do, and I'm guessing to replace electrolytes, I don't know too much about this stuff, I don't even know what electrolytes are or what they do, but i started reading on it recently, but he passed away due to heart failure last month. please, I know nothing I say to you might change your ways, but please, think about the people around you, even though it may seem nobody knows you exist, even though if some people know of your problems, they might be scared to approach you about it, because they might think if they bring it up it would make it worse."
Then she broke down in tears, but obviously trying to hide it and continued "please look at yourself, you are so young, you have so much more to look forward to, don't suicide like this".
And then it was my time to give my douche answers (which I was 100% aware are going to make the situation even worse, but I did it anyway, and I started politely actually):
"I'm really sorry it happened to someone in your family, my sincerest condolescences. I'm 24, I have no future living from today till tomorrow, and I do this because I enjoy food, but I don't want to gain any weight from it. I'm honestly surprised someone in this town knows about it, but if you ever notice anyone but me, please don't approach so directly, people are usually very sensitive about it and if I understand correctly they are ashamed of it. Well I have nothing to hide, it's my problem, I'm not exactly going to shout all over the place that I've got it, but I'm not going to try to hide it either. Once again I'm sorry it happened in your family, but yes, as you said, nothing you say is going to change me."
And I gave her a hug, waited for her to calm down, said if she wanted to talk she can call me or just tell me in person since I buy from that store very often, and left.
And now I'm here, having no idea why I share this, but if you get approached by a cashier or anyone, please stay calm.
I never get asked if I'm going to eat that all alone, but if I did, I'd have no shame in saying that I eat it all. And this cashier didn't ask me that, but as the store was nearly empty, she carefully said to me "honey, are you bulimic?" (in those exact words but in my language, I can't get "triggered" or whatever so i didn't mind her asking me) and as I saw the sad look on her face I knew she will know if I lied, so I asked:
"how did you know?"
and she answered: "I had a nephew, a bit younger than you I think, you are 20, right? anyway, he was buying the exact same drinks as you do, and I'm guessing to replace electrolytes, I don't know too much about this stuff, I don't even know what electrolytes are or what they do, but i started reading on it recently, but he passed away due to heart failure last month. please, I know nothing I say to you might change your ways, but please, think about the people around you, even though it may seem nobody knows you exist, even though if some people know of your problems, they might be scared to approach you about it, because they might think if they bring it up it would make it worse."
Then she broke down in tears, but obviously trying to hide it and continued "please look at yourself, you are so young, you have so much more to look forward to, don't suicide like this".
And then it was my time to give my douche answers (which I was 100% aware are going to make the situation even worse, but I did it anyway, and I started politely actually):
"I'm really sorry it happened to someone in your family, my sincerest condolescences. I'm 24, I have no future living from today till tomorrow, and I do this because I enjoy food, but I don't want to gain any weight from it. I'm honestly surprised someone in this town knows about it, but if you ever notice anyone but me, please don't approach so directly, people are usually very sensitive about it and if I understand correctly they are ashamed of it. Well I have nothing to hide, it's my problem, I'm not exactly going to shout all over the place that I've got it, but I'm not going to try to hide it either. Once again I'm sorry it happened in your family, but yes, as you said, nothing you say is going to change me."
And I gave her a hug, waited for her to calm down, said if she wanted to talk she can call me or just tell me in person since I buy from that store very often, and left.
And now I'm here, having no idea why I share this, but if you get approached by a cashier or anyone, please stay calm.
hope you're doing well after all that!
