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accountability (high BMI, SW 83kg, CW 60+)

6K views 131 replies 1 participant last post by  kindregards 
#1 · (Edited)
i need to put this somewhere so i’m less consumed by it

all i can think about is counting and weighing and i keep using work time to go on here so i thought i might as well post my own acountability.

i’ve lost nearly 6lbs in one week, but i’m 100% sure it’s just water weight

but i’m getting better at lowering my intake, so fingers crossed for better results at the end of this week

notes: i have an extremely sedetary lifestyle as i work in the office, and i HAVE to eat dinner with my so otherwise warning bells ring

i also have orlistat pills coming soon (delayed in the post), so hoping that will help me with the dinner intake

SW: 83kg (183lbs) (12/01/23)
CW: 80.5kg (177.5lbs) (17/01/23)
GW1: getting out of the overweight BMI (reached 14/03/23)

i'm going to do food of yesterday and then weigh-ins in the morning after. i really need to stop weighing daily as it's really affecting the way i look at food as a reward. i think i'll do every three days or whatnot.
 
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#2 · (Edited)
16/01/23

breakfast: coffee with semi skimmed milk and sugar (132)
lunch: slim expert porridge (114) and pepsi max (0)
dinner: pork medallion (165) with sweet potato fries (242), airfried no oil
snacks: sugarfree jello (8), galia melon (48)

total: 709

no exercise

this day made me realize i can really live with no breakfast or lunch as long as i'm drinking flavored drinks. probably could have done with no porridge, but ate it anyway? my hunger cues are well messed up at the moment. also excuse the coffee with milk and sugar but for the life of me i cannot drink it another way. i hate the taste of coffee.

cw: 80.5 (177.5) (gross)
 
#3 ·
i have to go out on friday. spent at least 20 minutes at work trying to find a restaurant in town that has nutritional information. hopefully we can go there. otherwise, it's gonna have to be liquid calories all day until the dinner.

same situation on thursday... going to a comedy show in the city, and will have to get something to eat either in the venue or on the way. very stressed about it.
 
#4 ·
17/01/23

breakfast: coffee with sugar and semi skimmed milk (107)
lunch: pepsi max (0)
dinner: chicken wings (324), cucumber (14), galia melon (41)
snacks: mints (16)

total: 502

did some pacing during lunch, no exercise otherwise. still very sore from working out this weekend

felt a bit lightheaded after work, good thing i wasn’t driving. now i know that if i drive, have to eat something at least during lunch.
 
#5 ·
couldn’t control myself and did a weigh in..

cw: 80.1 (176.6) (gross, i was hoping it would be below 80…)
 
#6 ·
i'm trying to get some positivity into my head, but all i can feel is my belly spilling out of my jeans.

i refuse to buy any new clothes. in a haze i sold everything that was no longer fitting me, save a few dresses. i tried to love the body i'm in. but nothing fits, and i look disgusting.

i have stretch marks now, from all the weight gain. it's disgusting. it makes me feel sick.

i will be a success story.

72.2 is the first GW. that would bring me just below the overweight bmi scale. 8kg doesn't sound too unreasonable, right? right????

i need to take some measurements of myself. and stop weighing every day. that just makes me miserable. i need to at least make myself not do it tomorrow. but it's so tempting. i need that gratification but it doesn't help me.

plan is, next weigh in on Friday. i'm going out friday so it will be a little higher in cal intake, but if we can go to the restaurant i picked, i can at least track my calories. fingers crossed. (i've already picked out the food and calculated my cals, which is just sad. looking at food makes me less hungry.)
 
#7 ·
18/01/22

breakfast: coffee with milk and sugar (107)
lunch: pepsi max (0), rice cake (26)
dinner: chicken thighs (225), cucumber (64), tomato (25), rafaello (69)
snacks: mints (16)

total: 532

didn’t work out again, aside from the little walk during lunch. i really need to either walk all lunch, or workout at home. but it’s cold outside and i’m fucking lazy (not an excuse).

started having a bad tension headache, which fixed real quick after dinner… only had about 1,5 chicken thighs, but left the calories as is because turns out the rub i’ve been using on all my meals is super high in calories! lovely, a new thing to worry about.
i really need to stop eating so many mints, but it’s either that or eating shit at work so it is what it is.

tomorrow gonna have to have lunch as we’re going to the city after work, and i don’t know when dinner will be. i cannot deal with another headache like today, especially during a comedy show…

i’ve taken the orlistat pill today after dinner, bit of tmi but really hoping i won’t be shitting my brains out tomorrow.
 
#8 ·
i keep forgetting to include it on my food tracker, but i’m taking the slimexpert drinks in the morning. they taste absolutely horrible, but also help me not be hungry at least until after lunch. felt so awfully nauseous this morning after the drink, honestly thought i was going to throw up the entire way to work. had to have something to eat before i left the house (strawberry) but it didn’t do anything. it cleared as the day went on, but i think once i’m done with this box i’ll buy glucomannan pills instead.

going to a comedy show tonight and leaving work early for it, so a bit stressed about what we are going to have for dinner… honestly i wouldn’t even mind mcdonalds purely because i can see the calories on the app, i’m scared of going to the burger shop next to the venue. how the hell am i supposed to know what’s in it??? otherwise, i’m very excited as we’re seeing bert kreischer, who’s the only comedian i really watch. he’s so funny, very happy we got tickets!

i found a few restaurants nearby that have calorie information online… so fingers crossed my bf agrees to one of them :)
still didn’t feel any side effects from the orlistat, but my meal was under 15g of fat yesterday, so maybe it didn’t do anything. i’ll try again tomorrow. my bf is travelling for work next week, so i can try taking it everyd
 
#9 ·
19/01/23

breakfast: slimexpert drink (0), coffee with milk and sugar (107), strawberry (5)
lunch: pepsi max (0)
dinner: noodles (651), two wine cans (324)
snacks: mints (16)

total: 1104

feel disgusting about this. was aiming at about 900 max, but i clearly cannot control myself around alcohol. haven’t had a drink since new years, so i’d say it’s been a successful few weeks but this is just gross. i also forgot to bring the pills, even tho it might be been a bad idea to be in a closed venue on those pills. don’t think i could bear the embarassment.

i’ve also got to go out tomorrow, which is probably going to be even worse. i thought about water fasting until dinner but i simply cannot function without coffee, so it’s gonna have to do… it seems like i can perfectly control myself for 500-700cal daily when i have some control on what i’m eating, but not when i’m going out. somehow this 600cal meal feels like eating the way i used to which i know is not true.

i’ve looked at the menu at the restaurant for tomorrow, and i think i can fit myself into abour 600cal. if they change their mind and we go burgers, not gonna be as lucky.

scared of weighing myself tomorrow morning now.

cw: 79,5 (175)
 
#10 ·
i was going to post my previous post last night but i was shattered after the show and only got into bed at 1am. i feel stupidly hungover for having that little to drink. don't know if it's because i haven't been drinking anything for 2 weeks, or just the fact that i didn't eat that much the past few days.

i've had my coffee and going to "liquid fast" for the rest of the day, even tho' it's not really a fast. i'm having water with vitamin c tablets as i cannot bear plain water, and diet coke. also some mints as that's the only thing that curbs my hunger. then going to go out for dinner and pray for the best. i'm not going to weigh myself until monday morning now, going to try and do my best in terms of intake over the weekend and hoping i can force myself to work out at least a little bit.

i'm going to be home alone most of the next week, so don't have to force myself to eat anything my boyfriend wants to. i'll try to think up of some low cal filling meals i could have by myself before i go shopping tomorrow.
 
#11 ·
20/01/23

breakfast: slimexpert drink (0), coffee with milk and sugar (107), half a rice cake (13)

lunch: pepsi max (0), rice cake (26)

dinner: pork dumplings & spring rolls (600), prawn crackers (100), drink (110)

snacks: mints (16)

total: 972
 
#12 ·
gonna write down some recipes for my own use, but feel free to use them.

Zucchini Pancakes Recipe | EatingWell used this recipe with changes

zucchini pancakes:
300g zucchini (1 medium)
(32g) 1/4 cup flour
1 egg
onion (about half a medium one)
10g parmesan cheese

approx 330cal for whole recipe

didn’t use any oil as i’ve got a good non stick pan. also forgot to add any seasoning into the mix, so only used salt on top. you could also take the cheese off as well i guess, it didn’t make much of a difference in taste, that alone would take off about 1/3rd of the cals. that’s what i’ll do next time, just season better.

made about 6 pancakes for me, i’ve split it between two meals as i find it quite filling.

i like to eat it with light (low cal) mayo, sourcream is also really good.
 
#13 · (Edited)
21/01/23

breakfast: coffee, milk, sugar (107)
lunch: zucchini pancakes with light mayo (200), pepsi max (0)
dinner: slimexpert porrige (114), banana (105), pepsi max (0)
snack: sugar free jello (8)

total: 533
 
#14 ·
made the mistake of weighing in this morning,

cw: 79.7 (175)

i’m starting to think that either my maintenance calories are extremely low (not starting, i always thought that), or i’m doing my calorie counting wrong.

i thought about making a big pot of chicken and grain as my lunches for the whole week as my boyfriend is away, but i will need to do extensive math to make sure what i’ve been counting is right. after the work week i’m going home to see my family, and i don’t know how it’s gonna go in terms of food.

i’m also extremely angry at my bf. i think eating low cal is really impacting my patience and i’m getting very short with him, but i’m also just pissed off. i’m tired of being the only person who cooks and cleans. literally only thinking about this is making me want to angry cry.
 
#15 · (Edited)
CHICKEN SOUP RECIPE + cals (using the packaging data)

100g (dry) yellow pea 356cal
100g (dry) pearl barley 325cal
200g chicken breast 212cal
123g carrots 52cal
427g potato 316cal
3 stock cubes 72cal

1333

plus seasoning (approx 20cals)

i’ve added 2L of water so I can split this between 5 meals. which will make it under 300cal per large bowl of soup. the cals would likely even be less as i’ve weighed the veg with the peel still on. this also made nearly 3kg of soup so i will have around half a kg to eat everyday… will do wonders for any hunger i feel.

it some casually wonders onto this thread, i’d love to know if i’m doing my cal math wrong.
 
#16 · (Edited)
22/01/23

breakfast: coffee, milk, sugar (107)
lunch: zucchini pancakes with light mayo (200)
dinner: soup (151), pringles (39), cucumber (11)

total: 508

cw: 79.2kg
 
#17 · (Edited)
did a gross thing yesterday… ate dinner too early, got tempted by some (stale) pringles (two pringles to be exact), then tried to purge them which did not work. it’s been awhile since i tried to purge. years even.

had some cucumber with salt as a snack instead. been on a veg with salt kick lately to satiate the cravings.
 
#18 ·
23/01/23

breakfast: coffee, milk, sugar (93)
lunch: soup (151), pepsi max (0)
dinner: soup (151), cucumber (18)
snacks: popcorn (44)

total: 457
 
#19 ·
i’m having extreme cravings. particularly for frozen pizza and sushi. compromised and had some low cal popcorn. debated really long between that and a slice of cheese. i’m really tempted to just do it tomorrow. it’s better planning it than denying myself of it and binging later.

or kfc. or a whole large dominos pizza. i feel disgusting for even thinking about it. i have no self control. i can’t even skip lunch to save calories for dinner because i have to drive myself to work, and i feel weak as it is.

on top of that, i’m travelling home for the weekend and i won’t be able to count calories if i eat with my family. i’ve made a plan that i will have no liquid calories while i’m there. no coffee, just sugar free redbull and diet soda. i don’t know how i will survive my family without alcohol as well. so far i’ve had alcohol twice this month and that is already impressive as it is. i won’t allow more.
 
#20 ·
cw: 78.7kg
 
#21 ·
24/01/23

breakfast: mango fiesta monster (13), skinny chocolate ceunch bar (98)
lunch: soup (151)
dinner: soup (96), 1/4 frozen pizza (199)

total: 557
 
#22 ·
cw: 78.6
 
#23 ·
i allowed myself to have a 1/4 of a pizza last night, and let me tell you it was a decent decision… the moment the pizza hit my mouth all cravings to binnge disappeared. i found the lowest cal pizza in the shop which was a thin base pepperoni.

however, i dropped less than i would like overnight, and i took my orlistat before the pizza and appears that it has done absolutely fuck all. maybe the fat content was too low once again, but i keep going back to the thought that i wasted my money.

gonna stick to my soup today.
 
#24 · (Edited)
i'm really tempted to buy the saxenda injectibles. i will be home alone for most of the next two weeks (after i come back from the trip). but it feels like a waste as I have these pills that i paid for already, and the saxenda is the same price for only about 1 weeks worth. i might just wait it out, finish what i have of the orlistat and pray it starts working. once it's finished, i'll somehow tell my boyfriend i'm ordering the saxenda as it needs to be in the fridge before being opened (and he will find it if i put it there). he's very against medication, even paracetamol, so i don't know how he'll take it. but if i finish the orlistat and see no changes, i can tell him i've been working out and eating well and not losing weight, so i'm out of options.

i'm quite surprised with how little i've lost, despite being on relatively low/med restriction. i'm high BMI, which should make it easier to lose. i cannot fast to see faster results as i'm not putting myself at risk of feeling weak when driving.

this is very frustrating.

my results so far:

SW: 83kg (183lbs) 09/01/23
CW: 78.6 (173.3lbs) 25/01/23

total weight loss in 2.5 weeks 4.4kg (9.7lbs)

week one (09-15) 1.9kg
week two (16-22) 1.9kg
week three (23-?) 0.8kg

which might as well be mostly water weight, as i haven't really see any difference.
i think i need to take my measurements today, just so i can see if there's any difference in numbers.
 
#25 ·
25/01/23

breakfast: mango fiesta monster (13)
lunch: soup (205)
dinner: soup (247 logged by weight, but only ate about half as i wasn’t hungry)

total: 466
 
#26 ·
cw: 78.4 (172.9)

quite surprised by this as i haven’t had a BM since Tuesday morning, and i won’t be able to weigh now until i come back from my trip on sunday
 
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