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  1. Anorexia Discussions
    I'm on the verge of being hospitalized, and I know from experience that it won't help one bit. I don't see myself recovering, so it really makes no sense to do IP. I should be extremely satisfied with my weight right now and rationally I should be ok with gaining some weight, but I just can't. I...
  2. Bulimia Discussions
    I wish I was joking when I say that I can't even drink water without purging it. Haven't touched a fruit or vegetable in months because I'm scared of the volume. I feel like I've ruined my body and everytime I start drinking or eating, the fluid and food doesn't get excreted but is rather saved...
  3. Public Blogs
    Oh hey, it’s me, esther! Today is day 1 of my recovery journey. It’s March 9th, and I’m up before seven with GI symptoms. I puke up a bit of what I ate yesterday (thanks gastroparesis), and I shower, trying to scrub away the grime and the guilt of what I’ve been doing to my body for the last...
  4. Bulimia Discussions
    Just a thought: In recovery, it is so very hard for me to deal with "breaking a streak" of not purging. When I have not been being and purging for many days and I break the good streak by binge-purging, the guilt is hardly bearable and I am my most vulnerable to relapse. I know it doesn't...
  5. EDNOS Discussions
    Hey. Former AN-r, inpatient for 1 year, relapsed and then found my own recovery, turned overweight, and now on a bad relapse so guess I'm EDNOS. Have lost around 35kg in nearly 6 months. How do you deal with compliments of losing this much weight? I kind of like it but it's also triggering so...
  6. Anorexia Discussions
    Trigger warning. Read at your own discretion. It's the truth and i've been avoiding it for a while. It's not even about physical insecurities, even though I have those. I need to get the disciplined girl I was back. I am just in a lazy haze right now of self sabotage. I was a severe anorexic...
  7. Anorexia Discussions
    I don't know if stubborn is the right word for this. But if I were a healthy weight, it would feel like I'm fulfilling the demands and wishes of my doctor and parents, even though in reality I'm mad asf at everyone. My underweight defines me, I have always been underweighed, and with a healthy...
  8. Anorexia Discussions
    I've read a few online publications recently about recovery, and long story short it seems to be the main factor in successful recovery, or at least starting recovery is having a main motivator to do so.... So for those of you, like myself who are classed as older, did you have a turning point...
  9. Anorexia Discussions
    Hi there! 💕 I just got my mealplan for inpatient tomorrow, currently freaking the f*ck cause of the amount of food/ calories/ carbohydrates 😅 Seriously thinking about blowing off the whole idea… What do you guys think? Every opinions/ thoughts are welcome, good or bad. Can you estimate the...
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