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  1. Starting at a higher BMI
    My ED is very hard to hide given how fast I lost weight. My family makes fun of me for it at every chance because it is a "self inflicted" illness. They never cared what I did/how much I ate until I visibly lost weight. Now that they can tell, my parents just laugh at what I eat or make snarky...
  2. Public Blogs
    18+ readers only please my accounatbility went super shitty, so instead i've decided to start blogging/diary writing, because i liked posting everyday and im getting nervous about writing in my real life journal about my ed. everyone at home still thinks im still recovered, and id rather them...
  3. Public Blogs
    hi there! clove here. dont really have time to make a long introductory post, just wanted to go ahead and start up the threat here. i intend this to be a diary of sorts, meant for tracking my thoughts and hopefully weight loss and habit building. i'm hoping to keep this little blog going through...
  4. Anorexia Discussions
    two questions. y'know, to make your life a little less depressing. what motivates you to stay alive? what motivates you to keep ana'ing? don't write "nothing" for the first one. this is my attempt at sunshine and positivity. probably won't work, but i'm feeling shitty, and doing my best to...
  5. Public Blogs
    epic fail
  6. Anorexia Discussions
    well MPA, i'm back! i started recovering sometime in february and have had no hiccups since then, but i feel a relapse coming on. i just hate my body so much. i know i gained at least 15-20 pounds and i just feel so disgusting i can't look at myself anymore. i can't wear my favorite clothes and...
  7. Food
    RECIPES Idk, why, but sometimes looking at disordered recipes helps me restrict. Don't know what science is behind that, maybe it's a "monkey see monkey do" type scenario. So, here is where I will keep some recipes I find on the internet, because my parents go through my phone, and I don't want...
  8. Member Diets
    I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT I'm dreaming of death at this point. I went to the hospital for a few weeks, because I tried to kill myself. I was almost successful, too. The dosage I took was lethal. No reports said had taken the amount I had and survived, yet I did. How crazy is that? And yet, I'm...
  9. Member Diets
    PINTEREST DIET every week I will try a diet I find on pinterest for six days. then I'll have one 1,200 calorie day. I plan on doing this until I hit 110 pounds. Idk how long it'll take. i'll start each diet on sunday, and saturday will be my 1,200 calorie day. i'll try to review each diet at the...
  10. BED Discussions
    This might not work for everyone, and that is okay! I just thought I'd share some things that have helped me. I'm 51 one days binge free, and it's been a journey, let me tell you, lol. 1. Clean. OMG, this one is so good! Cause sometimes I binge out of boredom and feeling bad for not being...
  11. BED Discussions
    Here's a list of things BED ruined for me personally. These are mostly weight loss tips or mantras that are supposed to be helpful and just are not for me, personally. I'm writing this because I want to binge and need to distract myself, lol. 1. "One binge won't ruin your progress". Like...
  12. BED Discussions
    Here's a list of things BED ruined for me personally. These are mostly weight loss tips or mantras that are supposed to be helpful and just are not for me, personally. I'm writing this because I want to binge and need to distract myself, lol. 1. "One binge won't ruin your progress". Like...
  13. BED Discussions
    Not sure if this is really appropriate to put here. I don't want another accountability thread, cause this isn't an accountability thing. Anyways, while I don't binge as much as I used to, I still do from time to time. I had my first binge in almost 50 days today. I don't plan on binge eating...
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